As Small Stars Fly Back Home
by jowx97
Summary: They're finally back from unknown space, but can they adapt to all that's changed? AU LSF Revan and LSF Exile w/unusual pairings. CHAPTER 11 UP: Most would have given up. Atton decides to embrace his inner-assassin instead; well, the stealth part anyway.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : Thanks for reading this, I should just say it gets better as it goes on so please don't be put off by the somewhat rushed Chapter One!**

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As the four of them saw the ship approach, emotion welled up inside each one of them. None of them said anything, they just waited, all of them deep within their own thoughts.

For Carth and Bastila, it was figuring out what they would say to Elara now that they were together. For Atton and Mical it was the worry of who Orience would pick...

As they all stood quietly, the noise of the ship's engines suddenly became extremely loud. The ship touched the ground. The ship was finally home after 5 long years. They stood, stiff with tension, waiting. The door began to open and the loading ramp began to descend.

Their hearts began to pound in their ears as they heard running foot steps. Then they saw her; her white blonde hair streaming out behind her as she ran, grinning from ear to ear, down the loading ramp; the Exile.

Mical and Atton stood waiting, both having different feelings rushing through their heads. Atton was feeling doubtful; she had been flirty at first, but then when they had met the Disciple things had changed. She had devoted herself to his training and seemed to like spending time with him more and had always seemed to be more of an influence towards him. Yet still, there was hope; surely those nights of Pazaak had not been for nothing. Then he realized who she was smiling at, and who she was running towards. He saw her embrace Mical and whisper three words to him and he whispered something back that seemed to delight her.

Atton backed off into the shadows; he had seen enough. The better man had won. And now he thought about it, he wasn't even sure if he had ever really loved her. Love and lust, he was coming to realize, were two very different things. He had not felt love - not truly - since that Jedi who had changed his life, all those years ago. He decided to go, realizing he wasn't needed here in this sickening love fest.

Just before he went, however, he heard another lot of foot steps and he looked up, curiously. He assumed it would be Revan, the former Dark Lord of the Sith. _Son of a schutta,_ he thought when he saw her. There was no way in sith space that this chick was Revan. He remembered Revan from when he had been with the Sith - scary, pale, veiny Sith Lord. This girl, this woman, on the other hand... She was... She was beautiful. As she stepped down he noticed that she closed her eyes, just for a moment or two, but she definitely did it. Strange. There was something so familiar... But no, if he had met someone like her, he would not have let her go so easily, would he? She was probably just some other friend of Orience who had helped them, he decided. Just another Jedi who was too good for him. He gazed up at her; her jet black hair, her almond-shaped, deep, almost black eyes, her perfect frame. He had a sudden urge to talk to her - there was something about her. Before he could muster up the courage to step out of his hiding place in the shadows though, he saw she was approaching the only other people who had come.

As she walked past him, towards the smiling couple, he suddenly felt a wave of emotion from her, a wave of great pain and sorrow. He could see it in her eyes, but no one else seemed to notice this, as she plastered a fake smile on her face. Her friends couldn't be falling for this, surely? How was he was picking up on this when no one else was? He saw her approach Admiral Onasi and his Jedi companion, who interested him as he had been sure Onasi had been together with Revan – wherever she was. The girl was still wearing the false smile. He glanced at Orience and Mical who seemed to be engaged in some very intimate catching up. He looked once more at the beautiful woman and decided to go, hoping he would meet her again...

Orience was ecstatic; he loved her! He actually loved her! They talked, still tight in each other's arms. Mical was talking about how glad he was to have her back, though somewhat distractedly as he was also busy staring at her lips, longingly. She smiled at him and put a finger to his lips, "Shut up and kiss me, you blabbering fool."

They kissed each other, their hands caressing one another, their lips meeting for the first time. _Life is good, _she thought to herself, touching her lips once more to his.

Carth smiled at Bastila, deciding that this was going better than he had thought. Elara was happy for them both; so happy, in fact, that she couldn't seem to stop smiling. The conversation had been a little awkward at first, and it had been weird addressing her by her name as opposed to 'Beautiful' or 'Gorgeous' - he had almost slipped there - but other than that, things were going smoothly. He told her of their recent engagement; only last night, in fact. At this news Elara was so happy she nearly choked up in tears. He was pleased that she didn't mind, because he really did love Bastila. But, now he looked at Elara again, after so long, and old feelings which shouldn't have been there began to return. Her smiling face seemed to be more beautiful than he could ever remember, though her eyes seemed deeper; a million new memories from the unknown regions made her seem more distant. He wanted to talk to her on her own, and find out what was bothering her, but he feared that this would become very awkward, very quickly. He decided to leave it, knowing that in time, if she felt the need to, she would come to him.

They offered her an evening meal at their place, but she declined, pleading tiredness and reminding them of the problems she would have to encounter with sorting out her apartment. At this, Carth looked at his feet, suddenly finding them inexplicably interesting - that apartment had a lot of memories. Elara looked at Carth for a moment, and then announced, suddenly: "I'm gonna sell it. Tonight. Find a new place."

"Tonight?" asked Carth, quizzically. "I thought you were tired? I mean, surely if you want to get some rest, moving apartments at such short notice isn't the way to go?"

"I do think you ought to reconsider, Revan - if you feel the need to move so desperately, perhaps it would be better to do it tomorrow. But not tonight, not when you're so tired."

Elara almost said something about Bastila's use of the name Revan, but decided to let it drop. She sighed. "Fine, tonight I'll sleep there, but after that I'm out."

After some more awkward conversation in which Carth inadvertently called Elara 'Gorgeous' several times, they decided to call it a day.

"Oh and Revan, I almost forgot" said Bastila, fumbling for something in her handbag.

"Her name's not Revan anymore, Bas'" said Carth quietly.

"I suppose that explains why you keep calling her Gorgeous," she smirked.

"Sorry, old habits, I guess. Besides, you know you're the only one for me beautiful", he said leaning in to kiss her. She giggled and reciprocated the kiss.

Elara thought she was going to throw up. _Get a room, _she thought to herself.

"Aww - you two are so cute!" she said aloud, smiling sweetly.

Bastila handed her an elaborately decorated datapad.

"What's this?" questioned Elara, dreading the answer.

"A wedding invitation! We expect you to be there as one of the main guests - you'll be staying the two nights at the hotel with everyone, of course." smiled Bastila.

"You guys don't waste any time do you? I thought you only proposed last night?" Asked Elara, eyeing Carth, suspiciously.

"Bastila got a little excited when she found out. Heh. She's quite the busy body", he said, smiling down at her affectionately.

"Besides, I think the last few years have taught us that time is truly of the essence, wouldn't you agree, Revan? I presume you will be there?"

Elara smiled again, noting that her cheeks were beginning to hurt. "Don't worry, I'll be there. What was that about a hotel though?"

Bastila explained that the guests were all staying at a hotel the night before and the night of the wedding. The night before, she and Carth would on separate floors and then the night after they would be in the same room. She blushed slightly.

"So the night before you and I can be room mates! I'm sure there's someone who will go with you the next night."

"Great - can't wait." Her sarcasm was lost on them both, and they smiled and said their goodbyes.

With that, they walked their separate ways - Carth and Bastila towards their own apartment and Elara, supposedly, to hers.


	2. Chapter 2

Elara entered the Cantina and inhaled the strong smell of cigarras, spilt drinks and what she could only disgustedly guess to be vomit. She had to smile; it was the same old cantina alright. She had _tried_ to go back to the apartment, she really had but, as she had approached it, she could feel the memories of Carth everywhere. Though she was sure she was over Carth - having convinced herself that she felt nothing when he had repeatedly called her 'gorgeous' - the memories were still painful. The problem was that she was not as happy as she should have been about the whole Carth/Bastila thing - just because she had accepted them as a couple, didn't mean that she wanted to see them smooching in front of her like there was no tomorrow. And this wedding seemed a bit sudden, but she supposed that Bastila had a point about making the most of time. She was secretly a little bit happy for the couple – finding true romance was something hard to achieve. But she was already truly dreading the wedding - she could just see it now: she'd be spending a fun-filled night by herself. There would be the dancing, the wining, the dining amongst the couples - she was not in a couple. And then there was the rooming situation for the night at the hotel - Orience would no doubt go with Mical, and from what she had recently heard about Mission, she guessed she would rather be with Dustil than her. There was Juhani, of course, but given _that_ confession on Rakata Prime, she decided that all in all she would rather not share a room with the cathar. So, it looked like a lonesome evening with lots of wine to look forward to. On second thoughts, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.

She waited for her juma juice patiently, and scanned the place for somewhere to sit. There was a crowd of twi'lek dancers surrounding a man whose face she couldn't see.

"Ladies, please, there's enough of me to go around. If this leads to a mud wrestle though, so be it," said the man, solemnly. _What a pig_. She looked closer to see who the man was. By this point the man had looked up, looking slightly shocked, though she couldn't fathom why. He then gave her a lopsided grin and drawled, "What's the matter, sweets? See something you like?"

She rolled her eyes and ignored him, taking a seat at an empty table. Some people just couldn't get over themselves, which was especially irritating when the person was in fact extremely good looking. She sipped her drink and looked away, stealing glances at him when she thought he would be turned away. He was apparently doing the same, because every time she turned to look at him he turned away looking sheepish and she did the same to him, smiling to herself. An actual smile for the first time all day.

The man got up and approached her table.

"Quite a fan club you've got for yourself", she smiled again, surprised at how eagerly she smiled around this man, nodding towards the twi'leks who were all giggling about something or other.

He shrugged. "They're okay, I guess. But don't worry sweets - I prefer real women to the Cantina dancers", he winked.

"Oh thank the Force, I'm so relieved. I was ready for my life to end when I thought I didn't have a chance with you" she muttered, words soaking in sarcasm.

He feigned being wounded. "I'm not gonna pretend that didn't hurt babe, but I'm gonna forgive you anyway. 'Cause that's what people in relationships do – we forgive, forget, kiss and make up." He smirked as he sat down.

"And we've been in a relationship as of when?" She inquired, raising an eyebrow battling the urge to smile again.

"Since the 17th time you looked my way when I was sat over there…" Elara cringed as the man's crooked grin widened and he continued: "I mean, I knew I was good looking, but I felt like a god or something, the way you were looking at me back then. I mean-"

Elara cut him off frustratedly. "Oh, come on! You were hardly keeping your eyes to yourself! You kept looking over here too!"

"Who's to say I was looking at you, sweets? There are plenty of other attractive females in here besides you," he said gesturing vaguely behind her, his expression deadly serious. _Shavvit,_ she thought to herself, _Of course he doesn't like me. There's some stunning girl behind me who he's interested in._ She turned round to see a large female hutt engaged in business with a rodian. Elara burst out laughing. The man smiled to himself, thinking to himself that she was even more beautiful when she laughed. And _he_ had made her laugh. Elara became aware that the man was gazing at her and she quickly spoke again.

"Was I really _that_ obvious?"

"Pure pazaak, sweets. About as obvious as a rancor incognito... Like a gamorreon who-"

"Enough, enough I get it!"

_Pure pazaak? Who _is _this guy?_ She sat wracking her brains for the memory of that phrase, sure that someone else had used the same words at least once. She must have been quite quiet for a while as she felt a gentle tap on her shoulder:

"You okay, sweets?"

She looked at him and considered asking him about whether he knew Orience, but decided against it, saying instead, "What is it with men calling me a pet name?"

He looked crestfallen.

"You don't like it?"

"It's not bad", she smirked, and after a moment added, "Nah, I quite like it, it's just..." She honestly did like it, but after having accepted a pet name from Carth, which he now presumably used to address Bastila, she was slightly hesitant about receiving a pet name so early on in a relationship. If you could even call this random meeting that. "I think it's really cute and all but I mean..."

He suddenly nodded understandingly.

"We hardly know each other, and I'm already calling you by a pet name when I don't even know your real one…Right?"

She nodded - close enough.

He was looking at her again, not entirely convinced. "Well, my name's Jaq, would you like a drink?"

She nodded, somewhat distantly. _Jaq._ There was something oddly familiar about that name, and she felt certain that Orience knew something about it. A long time ago, she had known a man called Jaq. He looked nothing like this man though, for Jaq was a murderer, an assassin tainted by the dark side. That was back when she had been under the influence of the dark side herself, when lord Revan had been in power. She looked at him now, curiously, as he tossed some credits over the cantina counter. He had not made eye contact with her when he had given her that name. Maybe..? But no, it couldn't possibly be Jaq Rand. That man was probably long dead by now.

He walked back to their table, drinks in hand. He handed her another juma juice, drinking a much stronger looking substance himself.

"So what's yours?" he asked her, looking straight at her.

She sipped her drink. "It's a juma juice. Admittedly slightly worrying that you didn't know, considering you bought it and all."

He grinned again. There was something about her that meant he couldn't stop smiling. "Your name?"

"Oh, right!" She laughed and put out a hand. "I'm Elara Cosmos, pleased to meet you." He didn't need to know that she was Revan just yet. It would only complicate things.

They shook hands, blushing at the first time they had properly touched each other, no matter how small an action it was.

"So, you're a Jedi huh?" queried Jaq, eyeing the two sabers on her belt. She nodded though she did not elaborate, and he got the distinct feeling that there was something she was not telling him.

She looked at him, her eyes boring into him as if she could see straight inside him and said, "It's weird though - the force is really strong in you… But it's wild and untamed."

Fighting a battle with the urge to say, "And that's just the way I like it baby", he said, "Yeah, I know - I got some training a while back but my uh.. _Master_", he said the word some what bitterly, she thought, "Got a little distracted with one of her other Padawans."

They started to play a little pazaak, and although Elara was sure that he was letting her win, he was surprisingly good. They passed the time discussing the wars, both of them failing to mention their key roles by conveniently forgetting their dark side alter-egos. They had been talking and flirting a little for about an hour now with no mishap, their confidence enhanced by the amount of drinks they were consuming.

"Miss Cosmos," he slurred slightly, "I must confess - I lied to you earlier. Lovely as the hutt behind you _is,_ it was you that I was looking at." Though he had started off like he was joking, and although he was drunk, Elara could tell that Jaq was being completely serious, and strangely she didn't feel awkward. Though it had barely been an hour she was really beginning to warm to this Jaq guy.

"Mr. Rand," she hiccuped, "You needn't worry, for I suspected as much. I must admit I feel flattered that you chose me over the lovely lady hutt." Elara was too drunk to realize the effect that her words had had on him, too drunk to realize that he had not told her his surname.

"So, Elara. Tell me about yourself. How do you know Orience?" He noticed Elara's features redden at the mention of Orience, though her expression was that of curiosity. There was something that she wasn't telling him. Something he wasn't telling her.

"Atton, Revan! So you guys finally met! Playing that game of pazaak I was talking about?" It was Orience with a blissful looking Mical wrapped round her.

They both stared at each other. If Elara had been red before she was deepest crimson now, wondering if the force was having a laugh at her expense, and even Atton was beginning to tinge slightly.

Elara hastily got up. "Yeah, Ja-- I mean, _Atton_ is great at pazaak. But we were just finished and I should really go. Nice to meet you."

"What are you talking about _Revan_?" He said, spitting the words out very deliberately, no longer smiling. "The set's still tied. We should keep playing. Unless of course you've got somewhere to go? Maybe there's something you're not telling us about? I wouldn't be surprised," he muttered to himself, frustrated. How could he have been so stupid? Of _course_ she was Revan. He served under her! How hadn't he recognized her? She was the reason that he went over to the dark side! But she had never looked like this, though he supposed her frequent wearing of a mask had contributed to this. She never acted like this though - she had been freakishly aggressive at the height of her rule - she had never been coy or witty, although he could still see the pain buried deep within her eyes. He felt like such an idiot - he had been telling her his opinion of the wars, telling her what he thought of Revan... He tinged further when he remembered some of the stuff he had said - he had just been flirting with a pretty jedi girl, not a former Sith Lord - _damnit_!

"Uh…" Orience was very confused. Mical quickly stepped in.

"No, no! Don't let us interrupt your game! We were just popping in to say hello to Atton - we thought he'd be here…"

The inebriated Atton glared at him, "You did, did you? Well tell me this, did you think I was gonna punch your face in, you no good-"

"Like he said - we're going!" said Orience hastily, leaving Atton and Mical to exchange equally venomous scowls. "See you at the wedding, I guess. You're going right, Elara?"

Elara's look said a thousand words, but she said merely, "Yeah, I'm going. And I'm staying at the hotel too." Her attempts to muster a smile at this point failed miserably, and Atton noticed the pain in her increase and had to fight the urge to put his arms round her. _She's not who you thought she was._ Then again, he had hardly been honest. Aware that she knew Orience, he had figured that she knew all about Atton Rand, hence he decided to be Jaq. He guessed her reason to hide her identity was a little better. He looked at her again, looked at the distressed expression; he wanted to help her, wanted to take the pain away… He wanted to save her.

Orience looked torn - should she stay here with her friend and comfort her, or should she go with the Disciple who was now pulling gently on her arm? She decided she would have to go, because she had spent a year with Revan and a day with Mical. She would leave, but not before speaking with Atton. He would have to be Elara's comfort tonight, no matter how much friction that there had appeared to be between the two of them earlier.

"Atton - could I talk to you for a second?" Atton looked at her as if only just realizing who she was. He nodded, allowing himself to be dragged towards the bar away from the table.

Elara followed them with her eyes and then looked up at Mical and met his gaze. This was going to be a barrel of laughs. By instinct she wasn't too sure about this guy, because from what she remembered about him back in their jedi academy days, this guy was a bit _too_ good. Well, if Orience loved him she would have to get to know him.

She looked up and said "Pleased to meet you after all these years, Mical!"

He smiled, toothily and uncertainly, "And you Rev--, I apologize. Elara was it? I have heard much about your recent adventures from Orience." At his own mention of her name his expression suddenly turned goofy.

"So... How's things?" she asked, somewhat reluctantly.

"Oh, you know...It's all good with me, as they say!", he chuckled, but upon noticing her blank expression continued, "How about you? How's uh... How're things in the world of Rev-- damnit, uh, Elara?"

She sighed, just wanting to go home, not to have to endure painfully awkward small talk with this guy. She decided she would go back to her apartment. _And face the traces of Carth?_ Suddenly staying in the cantina for as long as possible seemed like a plan and she divulged into the painful small talk once more.

Meanwhile, Orience filled Atton in on as much as she knew of the Carth story.

"So, one day while you're out there she suddenly feels through the force that this Onasi guy and her best friend are getting it on, and she doesn't seem to care?" He looked over to the table where he had spent his last hour or so with her. She was still sat there, strands of her jet black hair falling in front of her eyes, veiling that same mysterious expression. She was thinking about something which appeared to be causing her even more affliction, though talking with Mical often had that effect on people. He remembered the pain he had felt this morning from her when she had greeted the admiral and his fiancée. It disturbed him that someone so beautiful, so amazing, should have to suffer so much, though he wasn't naive enough to think it wasn't common. She seemed to keep it bottled up, probably because of that damned code. _There is no emotion_. Then again, maybe there was a reason they didn't encourage relationships within the order - maybe they knew the sadness it could cause. If only he could help to relieve the pain, because he was well aware that if she was left like this she would probably end up falling again. The Jedi didn't seem to understand about human emotion, and he decided he would help her out. It was like he had felt with the Exile all that time ago, but someone else had saved her; he wasn't going to miss out on this chance…Unless she was still in love with Carth? That was just a small hurdle to jump. "Explains a lot" he said shortly.

Orience stared at Atton, unable to work out what he was thinking, though she had seen that expression in his eyes before. It had been when he looked at her, yearning to protect her, to save her. That was before they had reached Dantooine, before she had met Mical. She wondered now if things could have been different. Maybe they would have? No. She stopped herself. It didn't matter - she had found true love and happiness with the Disciple and what could have been was irrelevant. She would need to get over this silly crush on Atton - it was just her wanting what she couldn't have. _There's no time like the present_ she reminded herself. Who knew how much time she and Mical had together? It was her turn to look at Elara. Though the brave woman had maintained her happy attitude about Carth and Bastila this morning, Orience was less than convinced by her act. Maybe it would have been better if they hadn't organized the wedding so quickly? Elara would need company on that night too as it would, no doubt, be very painful for her. She made up her mind to stay in a room with Elara at the hotel instead of Mical. Mical would have to go with… "Say, Atton; are you going to the wedding?"

"Well, I got some fancy looking datapad this morning; never got round to reading it though. Thought it was kinda suspicious." He tried to keep his tone casual, eyes still fixed on Elara as he said "So uh, who else is going?"

Orience was completely oblivious to Atton's strange nature - if he had danced round naked with merely a lightsabre to cover his manhood, all the while singing "Atton and Elara will hopefully be sitting in a tree..." she would not have caught on, she was so wrapped up in her thoughts. "Um… Me, Mical, Carth and Bastila obviously… A lot of the old gang and probably the people who helped destroy the Star Forge. Oh, and Elara of course."

Atton's heart leapt. This was his chance - he'd get to know her before the wedding, spend time with her at the wedding and hopefully distract her from the actual ceremony. It would be good for him to help someone out, and she would understand what it felt like to have a dark past. "Well… Sure, I guess" he said, nonchalantly. "Why not?"

"The thing is, they're doing this thing where people are staying overnight at a hotel... So Elara's going to need someone to share a room with her--" Atton was practically in heaven already. It was like the force was on his side for once! He pinched his arm suspiciously as though concerned he was dreaming and he was in fact locked in a prison cell somewhere or other. No - it was real. Even Orience thought he and Elara should get together.

"ATTON? Are you even listening to me?"

"Yeah sure - Elara needs a roomie for the night and you'll be with Mical soo…"

"Yeah - _soo_ I'll go with her and you'll go with Mical. You seem really happy about it - I was kinda nervous about asking you… You never seemed to like him that much, y'know?"

Atton blinked. "Uh… The better man won? But look- I think you and Mical should go together - wouldn't want to break up the happy couple." Orience was surprised - there was no trace of bitterness in his voice. "There's gotta be someone else she can spend the night with, right?"

Atton's hinting was lost on Orience and she just said "I guess… We'll see when we get there."

Orience walked over to Mical, who after nodding politely to both Elara and Atton, put his hand into Orience's, leading her out of the cantina into the night.

Atton returned to Revan's table, and sat down opposite her, well aware that the combination of both their long legs left them in the predicament where their legs were pressed up against one another. She looked straight at him, attempting to read his sphinx-like expression, which exasperatingly gave nothing away. They sat in a silence, both pondering the other's identity.

"So," began Atton, sounding more confident than he felt, "Revan, huh?"

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A/N: Feedback please?


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks for all the positive feedback, means a lot to me. Sorry about how long it's taking to update but I've got exams at the moment and it takes me a while to get back into writing. Bear with me. This chapter was pretty rushed and, therefore, may not make much sense so apologies on that account too. There's a hidden Strokes lyric in the chapter, brownie points if you can find it. Feedback will be, as always, very much appreciated.

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After a long discussion and a lot to drink, Elara and Atton had more or less forgiven each other and so, laughing profusely about nothing, they stumbled through Atton's rented apartment door in the middle of the night.

Elara collapsed onto a couch, still in fits of giggles. "I still can't believe that guy! What kind of name is 'the disciple' anyway?"

Shutting the door behind him, Atton chuckled and walked towards a plasteel cylinder. "But what's in a name, eh? I think you and me know that in the end, they mean nothing."

"Here, here!" She roared, adding, as an afterthought, "A bantha by any other name would smell just as bad."

Laughing, he gestured towards the now open cylinder, in which it was now evident he stored his alcohol. "Can I offer you a drink?"

She nodded eagerly, shuffling about until she found a comfortable position.

He moved around some bottles until he found something that pleased him greatly – "I've been saving this for a special occasion, but why not break it open? How does a Tarisian ale sound?"

She wrinkled her nose at him – "I can't drink that stuff now that I know what's in it. Plus I find the niggling feeling of guilt eating away at me what with Taris' destruction being due to me sort of takes the kick away."

He looked confused, and ignoring the last part of her speech in an attempt to keep spirits up, asked, "What's in it?"

"Trust me, you don't want to know. I mean, jeez, Griff; if you want me to help market the product, don't tell me _that's_ in it."

He was starting to become worried. "What the heck are you talking about?"

She grinned mischievously. "Ever been to Kashyyk?"

"If you tell me that any part of a wookie is in this drink I think I might have to get you to memory wipe me; that's something I _really_ don't need to know."

Her teasing expression had vanished, replaced with a cold, hard stare. "I would never use a memory wipe for something so ridiculous and trivial. A jedi shouldn't misuse such powers."

"Ooh, don't tell me this one – does it lead to the dark side?" Atton said, oozing sarcasm. "And last I heard that's precisely what they did with you. They misused a memory wipe for their own means."

"They did what they had to do." She spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully. "I…I'm not sure what I would've done in their situation, but that doesn't matter. You should never dwell on the past." Sensing he was about to interrupt, she continued, firmly. "Look, I'm here to get drunk with a friend, not to talk about that stuff. Okay?"

"Fair enough", he said, pouring her a drink, secretly smiling at being called her friend. "So, I guess that cuts out asking about where you've been for these last few years?"

"Most definitely", she stated, impatiently.

He handed over her drink, seating himself a good distance away from her on the couch.

"I know I haven't freshened up since I got back, but you could cut me some slack", she said, indicating the space between them.

He laughed. "I was wondering what that smell was. I mean –". He stopped when he felt a gentle hit on his arm, as she slid up the couch with an impish smirk on her face. "Sorry! Who was I to know former sith lords cared about personal hygiene? I was only judging by your example."

"Excuse me, spacer, you can't talk!"

They were both in fits of laughter by now, as she was attempting to playfully hit him while he grabbed her wrists. "Come on, sweets; could you really hurt this face?" He made big puppy-dog eyes.

Laughing incredulously, she barely realised she was now on top of him. She stopped laughing and looked straight into the deep chocolate pools that were his eyes, which looked unsure. Leaning forwards, she gently pressed her lips against his, and as his strong hands freed her wrists she began to rub her hands through his already tousled hair.

Atton's body was willing him to give in, and if this was any other girl he would have. Ever so softly, he pulled away, meeting her curious gaze.

She smiled, amused. "Please don't slow me down if I'm going too fast", she purred in his ear, after which she resumed brushing her lips against his.

Fighting with his conscience, he eventually pushed her away once more, this time faced with eyes full of hurt, although masked in angry fire. He tried to make her understand. "You're drunk, I don't want you to regret anything –"

"You don't have to pretend to be so fracking chivalrous you know." She glared at him. "If you don't want me, I'm old enough to deal with it." She climbed off of him, slumping back onto the couch.

"Hey; it's not like that!" He tried to make her look at him. "Listen, I would love for something to happen between us, believe me. But when we're both drunk and on the rebound, it's more of a one-night thing. I don't want something like that with us; I really think we could have something more." He said all of this because he knew she was too inebriated to take in his words.

"Fine, whatever", she scowled. "I can still sleep here, right?"

"Of course", he said, inwardly hitting himself for being such an idiot. He pulled out the couch and told her to go sleep in the bed.

"Night, Atton. Nice getting to know you." She wandered towards the bedroom.

Atton sighed. "Night."

She turned. "Tach glands."

"Excuse me?"

"They're the secret ingredient in Tarisian ale." With that she gave him a mysterious smile and went to bed.

--

Light poured into the room, eventually forcing Elara to get out of bed. She had an astounding headache and couldn't work out why she wasn't on her ship. She saw a pazaak deck on side table and remembered where she was, and squirmed when everything from the previous night came back to her.

Yawning, she padded into the main room to find Atton fast asleep on the couch. She nudged him slightly. "Atton", she whispered.

"What?" He moaned.

"Do you always sleep in the nude?"

He sleepily felt around, somewhat worried by her statement, and thankfully found that he was at least wearing a pair of shorts. "Quit fooling around, Orience."

She sighed. "Wrong person. Anyway, listen; can I use the 'fresher?"

"'Course. Can I go back to sleep?"

"No. Do you have any caffa? I have a really bad hangover."

"You and me both. Why don't you just force heal?"

"I think that sometimes it's better to feel human and pay for your indulgences."

"Right. Well, there's some caffa in the kitchen, I think."

"Thanks. Oh, and Atton?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Sorry about last night."

Even though his eyes were still closed, he smiled. "Don't worry about it."

Making her way into the 'fresher, she stripped off down to her underclothes. She then took off her top, only to hear a knocking at the apartment door.

Holding her shirt so it covered her front, she peered out of the 'fresher door. "Atton, there's someone at the door!"

"And?"

"Aren't you going to get it?"

Atton said nothing.

"Atton, what if it's important?"

He chuckled. "Doubtful. Listen sweets, if you're so worried, you go open it."

Stubborn woman that she was, she said, "Fine", and walked towards the door.

Atton opened one eye and grinned at the sight of her bare back and a tiny pair of shorts. "Nice view."

Shaking her head in annoyance, she opened the door with one hand as she held the shirt over herself with the other. "Atton Rand's temporary abode, how can I – Oh, wow; hi Orience!"

A whirlwind of white blonde hair stormed past her, shrieking, "Atton, when I told you to comfort her for the night, this is NOT what I meant!"

Atton groaned. "Why won't you damn jedi let me sleep?"


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry it's taken so long, thank you to anyone still reading who's sticking with this. And to reviewers, subscribers etc. It's very nice of you. I don't have a beta, so I'm worried about how this chapter comes off - it's not too boring is it? I promise more is going to happen soon, I just wanted to develop some stuff first; make the characters a bit more in-depth, make them more understandable. Please let me know what you think so I can figure out how to improve. Thanks, more soon; promise.

P.S. In regards to the last chapter - seriously, no Strokes fans out there?

* * *

"So", Orience said, looking thoughtful despite being sat upside down on the couch, her legs pointing towards the ceiling. "When are you going to leave?"

Atton, who was also sat on the couch - albeit in the normal way - said nothing for a moment, thinking carefully. Originally, after he had realised that Orience and himself were not to be, he'd had no intentions of staying on Citadel Station for much longer. However, that was before he'd met Elara. "Probably after the wedding; not sure if there's anything that special to stick around for after that."

Avoiding having to face her hurt at his nonchalant tone – wasn't she worth sticking around for? – Elara, who was sat cross-legged on the floor, hastily quipped, "You were invited to Carth and Bastila's wedding?"

He grinned. "Why; weren't you?"

Scowling, she was about to make a scathing retort when Orience cut in, "Well of course she was invited, Atton! They're like her best friends." She rolled her eyes at his naivety, while he secretly did the same in regards to hers. She then caught his eye, and attempted to wordlessly remind him of their previous conversation in the cantina.

Elara, unaware of this secret glance, stifled a laugh as a cough upon seeing Atton's eyes roll, unfortunately inhaling her Corellian chewing gum. _How graceful of you_, she thought, cheeks glowing red as she began to choke.

"Are you okay?" asked Atton, eyes tellingly worried although his blank expression and unfaltering voice were attempting to conceal this.

Orience, however, asked no questions, instead immediately swivelling so she was sat normally. She then moved towards Elara and placed a hand on her friend's chest.

From what little he had been taught of the force, even Atton could tell that she was using her healing powers to clear the blockage. However this knowledge didn't help him to contain the inevitable jaw drop at the beautiful sight of one woman touching another before his very eyes.

"Thanks", smiled Elara, no longer choking, causing Orience to remove her hand.

"Hey, do you remember when –", Orience began enthusiastically to Elara.

"Do you have any idea how hot that was?" Atton asked, a lecherous grin filling his face.

Both of the women threw him a glare, Elara quite literally throwing him across the room with a little help from the force.

"Hey!" Yelped Atton, disgruntled. "I think this construes as a little unfair --"

"No-one cares, Randy", smirked Elara. She paused for laughter at her witty play on the pilot's surname, but none came. She sighed, "Anyway, you were saying, Orience?"

"Do you remember that time I walked in on you and Malak, and his hand was on your chest, under your loosened robes and you were all red and flustered? And I totally jumped to the wrong conclusion there – like that morning last week with you and Atton – and it turned out you had been choking, not um… Not doing that other thing that I thought you and Atton had done."

Atton's eyes fleetingly met with Elara's before she quickly looked at the floor, cheeks discernibly pinker. The pilot pointed at her, accusing her wildly, "You weren't choking at all, you and that bald guy were getting it on!"

"Don't you dare talk about what you don't know!"

"What in Sith space did you see in _him_? Someone like you --" he eyed her up and down pointedly, "Someone like _you_ could do a whole lot better."

"If guys like _you_ are an example of what's 'better', I think I'd rather settle for mediocre", she spat.

"If you want to play hard to get…"

"You do know I can do a lot more to you with the force than just push you, right?" Elara threatened, fuming.

"Is that a promise?" He smirked, only to be rewarded with another shove across the room. "Totally worth it", he muttered.

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that, flyboy."

Blissfully unaware of what was going on, Orience innocently scolded him. "Look, Atton; she was choking, he wasn't fondling her! I was there, remember? They were Revan and Malak for Force's sake – can you imagine how weird that would –"

"Or', honey?" interrupted Elara, looking unabashed. "Malak and I were in love from as far back as I can remember. Well, obviously it grew from friendship to…Hmm. Right 'til when he thought he killed me…And, I guess, there was something there afterwards too. We kissed one last time on the Star Forge when I remembered…when I remembered everything. And then he died in my hands. At my hands." She bit her lip, eyes blurrily focussed on a small insect on the floor, struggling to fly. It was now her expression that was unreadable.

Uncomfortable in the awkward silence that followed her revelation, Atton got up, inadvertently treading on the tiny insect which he had not noticed. He didn't understand why Elara was now glaring at him, or rather, at his feet.

"I had no idea", Orience spoke quietly. "I mean, I had my suspicions but I never thought…" She attempted to put her arms around her friend.

Elara pushed her away. "I don't want sympathy", she snapped. "I brought it on myself, right? Attachment meant we turned against each other, meant I had to kill him. 'S why I had to let go of Carth. It's better to not to get too attached. It's something they can use against you. Something you end up using against yourself."

Orience tried again. "I am so sorr—"

"Don't be", Elara smiled, weakly. "Who needs love? Love is nothing compared to lots of happy, meaningless sex. Besides, it's not like there are any guys special enough to stick around for."

Although she was looking at Orience, Atton felt certain she was talking to him. Her tone sounded calculated and although seemingly gentle, there was a definite venomous undertone there. _Good_, he thought. He'd hoped that she had cared about his earlier comment, been hurt by it; that meant that she felt something too.

Orience sighed. "Just remember – there is no emotion, there is peace."

"Ha!" shouted Atton, suddenly. Both women looked up at him from the floor, eyebrows contorted into curiousness. He was about to explain his sudden outburst when there was a knock at the door. "Please don't be Mical, _please_ don't be Mical", he muttered under his breath.

"What's that about Mical?" queried Orience.

"Uh…I hope it's him!" he said, hastily, smiling ever-so slightly at the sound of Elara scoffing. She was crazy, mysterious, temperamental, and not afraid to bite back; just how he liked his women. That she was hot was an added bonus. He fiddled with the key pad, until the door opened.

Stood there was Mandalore, clad, as usual, in full armour.

Atton ran his hand through his hair subconsciously. "Uhh, this is unexpec—"

"They told me I'd find you here", stated Mandalore, simply. Both Atton and Orience were surprised to find that he did not seem to be talking to either of them, but rather to Elara. Neither of the two had really spoken to him before, and so had no idea of his connections to Revan.

Looking half-shocked, and half-amused, Elara began, "Cand—".

The large man coughed, which was accentuated through the vocoder in his helmet.

"Candalore?" her eyes twinkled, devilishly.

He coughed again, sounding unimpressed.

"I mean, can this really be Mandalore? Here, to talk to someone as small and insignificant as myself?" She was beaming.

"I see your ability to tell a joke hasn't improved since last time we met."

"Hey! Don't make me come up there, big guy!"

Looking bewildered, Atton interrupted them. "Fantastic as this banter is, can one of you please explain –"

Ignoring Atton, Elara continued, "So which 'they' told you I'd be here?"

"Princess and Republic. Who else would have known?"

Before Elara could reply, they were once again interrupted, this time by Orience. "Seriously – how do Mandalore and Revan know each other so well without me knowing about it?"

Mandalore chuckled, "Kid, there's a lot of stuff going on in this Universe that you don't know about." Before she could interject, he said, bluntly, "Look, much as I'd love to tell you the ins and outs of mine and Revan's friendship, I want to talk to her, not you." He made eye contact with Elara. "Can we go somewhere less clean and friendly, with more booze?"

"You got it, Mandy. Let me get my bag," she said, getting up.

"And there was me thinking that Randy was special", pouted Atton, playfully.

Elara winked as she passed him, poking him lightly in the chest. "You don't need to be Randy to be special". With that she went into the bedroom.

"What does that even mean?" he whined, although he wasn't really upset. She had winked at him, after all.

Observing their behaviour, Mandalore chuckled again. "So, you and Revan, huh?"

Strangely Orience jumped in first, "No! _No_. I made the same mistake about them."

Atton looked at her, slightly confused and then nodded, straining to cover up a sigh. "Yeah. I mean, she's living with me - for now - but there's nothing like _that_ going on. We're friends."

"Strange", remarked the Mandalorian. "Well, it'll be interesting to see how long your…Heh. _Friendship_, lasts. So anyway, you two then?" he said, pointing his gloved finger at Orience. "I wondered if you'd pick him over the pansy."

"Wrong again", said Atton, one side of his mouth turning upwards at Mandalore's remark. "She picked the pansy."

"Who picked a what now?" asked Elara, re-entering the room.

"Nothing", they all said simultaneously. Something told them that Elara would not like their topic of conversation.

She blinked. "_O_-kay then." She glanced at Mandalore. "Shall we go?"

He nodded and then turned to face the two others.

Orience still found it unnerving that she could not see the man's expression beneath his helmet.

"It was good to see you again", Mandalore lied.

"And you", said both Atton and Orience, also lying.

They said their goodbyes for now, Elara telling Atton to make sure he waited up for her, and with that the two veterans walked out, side by side.

After they were a few metres away, Atton leaned out to listen to what they were saying, whilst muttering, "Revan and Mandalore; bosom pals. Why am I not surprised?"

"So I bet you've got some exciting new war stories for me?" he heard Elara ask, eagerly. "I'm guessing you didn't get where you are with no bloodshed."

Mandalore chortled. "Well you know me, Revan; I'm a pacifist at heart."

Rolling his eyes, Atton closed the door. "And he said Elara's jokes were bad."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So firstly a huge sorry for how long this has taken - if anyone out there is still reading I'm so grateful for your patience! This is a bumper chapter so I hope it makes up for the wait a little bit. It's in two sections with two kind of similar stories playing but in different ways. You'll see. I should warn you that there are a few sex references so if that offends you read with caution. Oh and, it's pretty dialogue heavy for which I'm apologetic but I think it works alright? Any feedback is, as always, appreciated! Thanks so much for reading!**

* * *

Sat in a small, private booth in the Cantina, Elara and Canderous were talking excitedly, making up for the years gone by. Although the booth had the advantage of Canderous being able to remove his helmet, the service was a lot slower as their orders reached them through a small chute in the wall.

At a pause in the conversation, Canderous cracked his knuckles in indication of his frustration at the slow service. He then winced, one of his knuckles evidently not taking well to being cracked, and removed his gloves to sort out the problem.

Elara was observing, amused, until she noticed an intricate tattoo encircling his left ring finger. "Canderous, how have we been speaking for over an hour now without you mentioning once that you got married?"

The man chuckled, although his eyes remained downcast, staring at his hands. "Guess I didn't think you'd be interested; I never pestered you with questions about Onasi."

"I wouldn't have minded if you had", she pointed out, smiling somewhat wistfully. "Well - not much anyway."

"Well, do you want to tell me how you ended up staying with that pilot – Atton - of all people, and what's actually going on there? Do you think he's _dreamy_?"

"Fine, fine, fine; fair point. I won't ask about _Mrs. Mandalore_!"

They both observed each other's scowling faces and burst out laughing. When their laughter faded to a pensive silence Elara sighed. "Everything's so different."

"I haven't changed a bit", noted Canderous wryly, winking.

"You got married! Carth and Bastila are getting married. I still haven't seen any of the others from the Star Forge days for a good few years, yet instead of going to meet them I find myself spending an inordinate amount of time with an exiled Jedi from before I even became…Well, you know – _Revan_."

"You were always Revan. Still are. Just not a sith lord called Revan. Calling you Elara doesn't change who you are, just makes things less complicated in terms of working out whether you're light or dark side."

"That's…true. So you're saying that by hanging out with Orience, I'm in fact revelling in my former self?"

"All I'm saying is that you're having fun with an old friend who you knew before everything got complicated. I don't claim to know the deep psychological meanings behind it all."

Elara nodded, slowly. "I just…I don't know what's going on with me at the moment. One minute I'm up, the next I'm down and there's no discernible reason for it. I thought once I'd gone and finished everything off once and for all it would be okay when I came back."

"Well, do you feel you have any unfinished business? I know that always brings me down when I'm in danger of high spirits. "

"I guess…"

"What exactly did you do out there?"

Elara sighed. "Not yet. I'll tell you all soon." Canderous snorted in derision. "I will! I just don't want to re-live all that just yet."

"That bad, huh?"

"You could say that. Funny topic now please – tell me what Orience was like to work with." She grinned as Canderous groaned.

"I mean how difficult is it to guess that the old lady telling you to do bad things isn't one of the good guys?"

Just then a tray shot in with a frothy pink soft drink for Elara and a golden not-so-soft drink for Canderous. However, on the tray there was also an incongruous armoured glove.

"Are they resorting to free gifts to make up for the slow service?" asked Elara in confusion.

Canderous snorted. "If only. This means that someone wants to come in – if we recognise the glove, we know who it is and we can say yes or no."

"Right. And do you recognise the glove?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I do", he replied, smirking.

"You're so annoying sometimes", she moaned. "Who is it?"

"An old friend."

"Okay – and will I like seeing this old friend?"

He looked at her for a while, his expression blank. "I honestly have no idea."

"Just send them in then", muttered Elara wearily.

Canderous moulded the glove into the shape of a 'thumbs up' and pushed the tray out of the chute.

"What if they misinterpret it as a 'thumbs down'?"

"If it's a no, you return the tray with the thumb ripped off of the glove", Canderous stated, matter-of-factly.

Moments later not to her enormous surprise, Carth Onasi entered the door, re-adjusting his left-hand glove. His eyes widened slightly at Elara but all he said was, "Good evening."

Canderous looked from Carth to Elara, from Elara to Carth. "Isn't this a nice reunion?"

So Carth had joined them and they all got talking. The weird thing was, there was no awkwardness between Elara and Carth; it was almost like old times. Soon Canderous declared he had to go because his damn hotel locked the front door at 1am, and why the hell didn't Onasi tell the Telosian hotel officials that it was preposterous? Then it was just Carth and Elara, smiles and laughs at old jokes, a brief and fleeting touch of knees under the table, a knowing look into each other's eyes, a "Bastila's away". And that was it – they were under the covers at Carth's, writhing and moaning. However Elara felt strange – strange because she felt no love, no satisfaction, only guilt, and from the expression on Carth's face he felt the same.

"This means nothing", their faces seemed to say, sadly, and although not really finished with the act, Elara got up and put her clothes back on. Carth nodded, understanding.

"I'm so sorry", she had said.

"It's…Not your fault." He had sighed before placing his head in his right hand, waving her away with the other.

And now she was on the way back to Atton's apartment feeling disgusted with herself and hoping to Force the pilot was asleep.

***

Atton was sat on a chair in the darkness, replaying the evening's events in his head, not entirely sure whether they had really happened or not. After Elara and Mandalore had left, he was stuck with Orience – not that they weren't friends, but it was the first time they'd been alone together since some of their talks on the Ebon Hawk so long ago.

There had been some uncomfortable silence for a while, before Orience had begun – "I still find myself attracted to you."

That was typical Orience – bring up something, anything that would make things even more awkward.

He had, however, tried to act like she hadn't just said something he had once fantasised about. "Who isn't attracted to me though, right?" He attempted some of his trademark cockiness, complemented by an admittedly half-hearted lopsided grin.

Orience, it seemed, was being serious. She had paced up and down, brows furrowed so far down into her face they could easily have been non-existent. "I thought _so_ long and hard over this; I was _sure_ I wanted Mical."

"You love him", Atton had added, helpfully.

"I do. And I for sure don't love you."

"Thanks…" he had muttered, trying not to think about how differently he would have let this play out only a few weeks ago.

"Then why am I still attracted to you?!" she had shrieked.

"Because…well, look, how far have you gone with Mical?"

"Excuse me?!" Orience's eyes had bulged.

Atton had took a breath, closed his eyes and spoke hurriedly. "I just meant that Mical doesn't seem the sort of guy who would take things that far with a woman without encouragement, and maybe you're attracted to me because you know I'd willingly please you without having to be asked to. "

"I don't understand. What do you mean he needs 'encouragement'?"

"He's a gentleman."

"So?"

"Oh for frack's sake, Orience! I'm saying the guy's probably a virgin."

"Okay…But what does that have to do with me still being interested in you?"

Atton had sighed. "You're interested in me because I'm fairly…promiscuous."

"Pro-what-uous?"

Remembering the manners his mother had taught him as a boy, Atton managed to control the urge to hit Orience. "Debauched, wanton…Orience – if I find a girl attractive I'm _easy_!"

"Easy in what sense?"

Atton had scowled seeing that she was now laughing and just playing with him. "So is that all resolved now? I'm pretty sure you just want sex."

"Uh huh. And can I get that here?"

"What?!"

She had smiled coyly and moved towards him, looking up at him through lowered eyelashes. "All girls need satisfying, Atton. And you just said you were easy if you found the girl attractive, and I know you think I'm attractive…"

Atton had backed away from her. "Orience you _love_ Mical. Just think clearly for a second, think through all the lust."

"But—"

"No! I don't want to be the guy ruining the relationship. Talk to Mical – he should be the one satisfying you."

Orience had sighed. "You've changed. There was a time when I was sure you would've said yes without thinking twice. I mean, I understand and agree completely. I just...I wanted one night with you so I could be sure I'd made the right decision."

"You already know you've made the right decision, you're just scared about making such a big commitment", he'd said softly, sounding wiser than he felt.

"Maybe you're right. In fact, I know you're right. I'll talk to Mical, see if we can take things further than holding-hands and chaste kisses."

Atton had scoffed at this, and then, seeing Orience's glare, sighed. "I guess this is goodbye to our old relationship then."

"I guess so. We'll still be friends though!"

He had smiled at this. "We will."

"And Atton?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for not giving into me. I don't think I could have forgiven myself if we'd actually—"

"Forget about it. Nothing happened so you don't need to worry about it."

She had flashed him a winning smile and walked out of the apartment, leaving him there now, pondering over everything. He'd passed on two very attractive women within a week, one of whom was the old object of his affections and one of whom was the current. The old Atton would never behave like he was behaving, what was wrong with him? Then he replayed out of nowhere the images of Elara winking at him, Elara gazing at him from across the cantina, Elara on top of him smiling at him, Elara peering out of the 'fresher, Elara kissing him, Elara sulking, sat on the floor close to tears, angry, happy, confused. He could remember every detail of every moment that he'd been around her and he realised that the romanticism of saving her wasn't the only thing attaching him to her. Not just how attractive he found her, not just the lust that rose in his throat when he saw her but…_her_. For the first time in his life Atton Rand was actually falling in love. And so he sat in the dark - smiling - waiting for the return of Elara so that he could engrain her image further into his memory.


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry. If you're still reading this you're amazing, thank you so much. It's taken an inexcusably long time, so yes - sorry. Hope you're able to enjoy it anyway. Reviews are always appreciated, even if they're to tell me off for taking so long. Thanks for reading._**

* * *

Walking into the apartment, Elara was alarmed to find Atton sitting on the couch in the dark, with an inexplicable smile on his face.

He jumped up to greet her even though his legs felt like jelly underneath him at the mere sight of her. He smiled, trying to meet her eyes although she seemed to avoiding his. "Hey – how'd the evening with your old friend go?"

She gasped, eyes widening, "How did you know about that?"

"What?" Atton frowned. "Mandalore came here beforehand, remember? Hence I knew about it – just how much did you guys have to drink?"

"Oh, right – yeah. Mandalore. Sorry. I only had soft drinks", she said somewhat distantly, her expression one of distress. "Why are you up so late anyway?"

"You told me to stay up for you_, remember_? Are you _sure_ you didn't have something to drink? Or maybe you tried your hand at some Spices?" He was trying to tease her and bring out the feisty side in her which was so much easier to flirt with but to no avail.

The tears that had blurred her eyes earlier came out properly now, although she didn't let herself sob in the hope that the pilot wouldn't notice that she was crying. "No; no Spices, no alcohol – everything I did tonight I did with no real excuses." Her voice was bland as though she wasn't saying anything of importance, although in reality she was realising the extent of her actions that night. No excuses.

Atton stepped closer to her, noticing the shimmering liquid on her by now salty cheeks but refraining from mentioning it. Instead, he kissed her. It wasn't a strong kiss; not passionate or provocative as his kisses normally were. It was more a gentle graze, meant to be comforting more than anything. Then he pulled away and looked at her briefly, her eyes gazing up at him helplessly.

"Atton, we can't-", she began to speak.

"Shhh", he embraced her in a bear hug, cutting her off. He tried to ignore how close they were, the scent of her hair and the fact that he could feel her heart beating quickly against his chest.

"You're being so nice", she mumbled into his neck, not noticing Atton's shiver at her warm breath tickling against his skin, "If you knew what I'd done you wouldn't be so nice".

"You forget who you're talking to. I'd be a complete hypocrite if I was rude to you because you'd done something bad. Did…did something happen with Mandalore?" He wasn't expecting her to start laughing.

"Of course nothing happened with Mandalore! It was lovely seeing him."

"Then why—"

"Don't worry", she sighed trying to sound more positive than she felt. "It's my problem to deal with, not yours". She started walking towards the bedroom, saying, "Thanks for your concern though."

"You can't keep doing this you know", he said, pointedly. "You can't just bottle everything up and hope it will go away."

She gave him a long, hard look and said, finally, "Good night, Atton."

****

A month had passed and Elara had remained silent about her encounter with Carth; she couldn't ruin everything for him and Bastila with the wedding approaching. Atton was as full of flattery and flirtatiousness as ever, but Elara felt too guilty to pursue this and so she tried to avoid him as much as possible. She had seen him watching her in the apartment with a look in his eyes that didn't seem lustful so much as affectionate, and she was scared as hell. The only two men who had ever loved her hadn't really ended up so well; Malak was dead, and she had dumped Carth to fly off into unknown space for no discernible reason and, when she had returned, instead of leaving him and his fiancée in peace she had slept with him. No, there was no way she was hurting Atton, she had grown far too fond of him. But maybe that said something about her feelings for him – maybe that she didn't want to hurt him showed that she loved him more than she had loved the other two? Regardless of whether this was the case or not, she knew all too well that she couldn't let her guard down and so – against Atton's advice – she chose to bottle this up too.

She had tried the occasional fling with men she met in the Cantina to take her mind off things but after the first two she had given up – she felt sick of herself. It was apparent from the giggling women entering the apartment at odd hours that Atton was having no such qualms with flings. Whether he was trying to make her jealous or simply get lost in a hedonistic lifestyle where he could forget his problems was hard to tell, but thankfully it seemed there was an unwritten rule that neither of them would mention it to the other. Nor did they mention the night where she had come home crying.

She barely saw anyone apart from Orience and Canderous; Bastila and Carth were too busy in the upcoming wedding preparations. Indeed, there was a wedding rehearsal dinner that night and Bastila insisted that everybody came in order for her to divulge the details of what was going to happen at the wedding the following week. Bastila had asked if Elara would come early in order to help her get everything ready for the evening and, although reluctant – they had still not been alone together since Elara's return – she had agreed.

Allowing her into the apartment, Bastila surveyed Elara's outfit disdainfully – "You've brought along a change of clothes for this evening, of course?"

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Asked Elara, confused. She hadn't thought that a rehearsal dinner required anything fancier than some nice, brown civvies and combat boots. She had even brushed her hair which, frankly, was more than she'd bothered with for the past couple of weeks.

"Hilarious. Listen – I need you to clean up the mess that is the lounge while I go clean the 'fresher room." She looked at Elara's expression. "Oh force, you're not even joking about not bringing anything else to wear, are you? Hang on." She rushed into her bedroom and came back out with a disgusting floral affair and a shockingly small navy blue number.

"You're not serious, Bastila?!"

"Of course I'm serious; these are the only things I have that will fit you seeing as you're so bloody tall, and I'm not having you sat at my rehearsal dinner looking like something a rancor wouldn't touch."

"I brushed my hair!"

"Is that what you did? Look, just clean up the lounge, then go and get dressed. There's make-up, perfume and a, uh, hairbrush in my room if you're reconsidering the current look. Now do you want the blue one or the floral one?"

"The blue one", Elara grumbled, sulkily, deciding that alarmingly short was better than a print that made her want to vomit. She wasn't some doll for Bastila to play dress-up with and she wouldn't normally tolerate it, but it wasn't her rehearsal dinner and she felt guilty as hell about Carth still. "So who else is coming tonight?"

"Oh, well there'll be Jolee, Juhani, Mission and Dustil; Zaalbar can't make it tonight. Canderous, of course, although his wife won't be here – she will be at the wedding though." They both exchanged an amused glance. "Orience, Mical, that Atton chap. Atris – yes, really, she's one of us now. Not to mention Carth, you and I. Give or take a few people, this will be the first meeting of the new council I suppose."

"Sorry?"

"You didn't think just because the old council's gone we were just going to let the Jedi die out again did you?"

"Well…"

Bastila scoffed, at the same time using her sleeve to wipe an invisible stain from the spotless table. "We've been waiting for you to get back to get things going properly of course, but now Orience has sorted out the latest wave of Sith problems and you're both finally back, it's time. The only reason we haven't done anything yet is that I've been so busy with the wedding. Anyway, I would've thought Orience had filled you in on that long journey of yours?"

"Come on, Bastila; you've met her before, right?"

Bastila tried not to laugh, but failed somewhat.

"But yeah", Elara continued, "Can we honestly do this? We're all so young, it's such a responsibility and we hardly have enough experience –"

Bastila interjected. "One – you've had more experience than the entirety of the old council put together. Two – we're the only ones left. Three – if not now, then when?"

"Fine, you make a convincing argument. Maybe business shouldn't be on the agenda tonight though – it's your wedding rehearsal dinner after all. Maybe we could have a meeting after the actual wedding?"

"We're going on honeymoon", she explained, almost sourly.

"You poor thing", Elara teasingly commiserated. "Ahh, I missed you and your undying devotion to the council."

"I'm not that bad, am I?" Bastila asked, looking slightly hurt.

"Two words: Master Kavar", Elara smirked.

"Oh, that doesn't count! _Ev_eryone had a thing for him!" There was an impish smile at the corner of her lips now.

"True. And he _was_ a good kisser".

"What?!" Bastila looked horrified, though at the same time a little bit jealous. She scanned Elara's expression with scrutiny. "You're bluffing."

She raised her arms, "Yeah, you caught me – but I had a dream where he kissed me once, which is basically the same thing."

Bastila scoffed.

"Hey, don't give me that! I was subject to some pretty nasty dreams of yours when we were hunting for the Star Forge. I mean, Vrook – really?"

"He had a nice smile", Bastila mumbled, sheepishly, then seeing an opportunity to move the conversation swiftly on she said. "Since you've been back have you, um, been subject to any of my dreams? Is the bond re-strengthening?"

"No," Elara sighed. "But I've barely seen you, so I guess it'll take some time. We'll be seeing a lot of each other soon anyway; if we have a meeting about the fate of the Jedi? This week, before the wedding; you, me, Orience, Jolee and Juhani?"

"And Mical and Atris." She ignored Elara's scowl. "And perhaps some others who are in need of training – we should be looking to expand our numbers as much as is possible and the Exile has found a fantastically force-sensitive lot. I mean, you're living at his place, you must've felt the force within Atton?"

"I have done no such thing!" Elara denied, then realising her misinterpretation hastily added, "What? Oh, I mean, yes. The force is strong in him. Yes."

Before Bastila could query this awkward behaviour a beeping sounded from the kitchen. "Oven timer! Force, we've got a lot to do. You - clean lounge, get changed, lay table. Okay?"

"Okay." She made her way into the lounge and using the force directed stacks of holos into shelves. She then straightened out the couches, plumping the cushions deciding Bastila was way too much of a neat freak; the place was basically spotless.

Sighing, she picked up the slinky blue dress and walked to Carth and Bastila's room trying not to think about the last time she'd been in there. Slipping out of her civvies, she stepped into the dress and zipped it up, surveying herself in the mirror. It was actually a surprisingly good fit, but it was far, far shorter than anything she would normally wear. She tugged hopelessly on the hem, willing it to be a little longer, fairly certain that no-one would want to see her spindly legs.

Next she sat at the dressing-table, playing with her hair and make-up like she hadn't in years. Indeed, she couldn't remember the last time she'd actually worn make-up. Not unhappy with her appearance she finally sprinkled perfume from a dark blue and gold bottle onto her neck, only to hear the doorbell ring.

"Elara, could you get that please?" Bastila called from another part of the apartment. "And then _please_ lay the table?"

Getting up, Elara went to the door and pressed the button to open it.

Atton was stood at the door, hastily apologising whilst looking at his feet, apparently under the impression that it would be Bastila who opened the door. "Sorry I'm early, I thought I might get lost so I left early but then—", he finally looked at her, and his eyes widened, "Force, you look incredible."

"You don't look half bad yourself", she remarked taking in his formal attire, smiling only slightly, feeling somewhat nervous dressed as she was, not to mention the fact that things were still kind of uncomfortable between them.

His eyes twinkled as though he was about to say something, but before he could Bastila yelled, "Elara could you please lay the bloody table?"

She grinned at him, forgetting for a moment that there was anything at all awkward happening between them. "Duty calls."

With that she led him to the kitchen, trying to not be aware of where his eyes were lingering behind her in her all-too short dress. This was going to be a long night.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I am so, so sorry for how long this entire thing is taking. I'm in the middle of exams if that's any excuse, but I realised I was spending an awful lot of time reading Star Trek fics this past weekend and felt a bit guilty about my lack of attention to my own Star Wars one! So, here are the results of that guilt-trip, which may also explain why Juhani comes off a little bit like Spock. Good times. Let me know what you think, I don't think it's great but at least I have a very definite structure for where I'm going from here on, so expect more fairly soon. Hopefully. Thanks for reading, please do review!**

* * *

Elara was trying very hard to focus on what Jolee was saying to her and Atris because – even though she'd never admit it – she had missed the old guy a hell of a lot. As he attempted to fill her in on the latest antics of those Czerka bastards, though, she couldn't help but drift off, her head spinning at thoughts of Atton whispering to her as she had laid the table earlier telling her how perfect she looked, and asking why she never normally got out those gorgeous legs of hers. She had of course ignored him, trying not to notice the earnestness in his eyes and the butterflies in her stomach. She sighed inwardly, and subconsciously began listening into Carth's conversation with Canderous about the merits of marriage, Canderous joking about how having to be faithful was a pain in the ass. Elara immediately reverted back to Jolee's conversation, feeling the pink rising in her cheeks, and she was almost certain Carth's cheeks were doing the same. Jolee laughed – "Nothing to be embarrassed about; I was actually proud to be a part of your crew everytime you knocked down one of those Czerka outposts. Maybe not so much the rest of the time". She laughed nervously, thanking the force she'd blushed at the right time knowing things might've seemed awfully suspicious otherwise.

Before she could get settled back into Jolee's tales again, however, she found herself scowling across the table at Atton, whose socked feet kept trying to play games with hers, sliding gently along her feet and up her bare legs. On the one hand she was kind of enjoying it, but not only had she made it abundantly clear that she couldn't be interested in him in that way, but this was hardly the time or place. Atton just grinned back at her, refusing to desist.

"What's the matter, sweets?" He asked innocently, daring her to make a comment. She kicked him under the table. Unfortunately Atton had moved his legs back in the nick of time, and she ended up kicking Mical, who gave Orience – who was sat opposite him – a shocked look. Both Atton and Elara looked in the opposite direction, avoiding each other's gaze at all costs. On her other side Jolee gave her a knowing look, winking. Thankfully before Mical could question what was going on, and why both Atton and Elara were shaking with supressed laughter, Bastila began to clink her fork against her wine glass.

"Thank you all for coming; I'm sure you'll all agree it feels good to be together again, give or take a few people." There was a joyful murmur of approval as everyone acknowledged their old friends and the new additions to the group. Bastila then proceeded to run-through what would be happening when the actual wedding came for those who weren't already aware of the hotel room arrangements and the timings. "And then Jolee will walk me down the aisle—"; suddenly Elara wanted to be the one getting married, if only to have Jolee walking her down the aisle in place of her father. She felt a slight pang thinking of her own father, but decided to move on before it got her down, and so began a momentary fantasy about her own wedding. It didn't escape her that if she had stayed here it would have been herself and Carth getting married - not that it mattered now. She sighed to herself, realising the only way she would be able to fully move on from that stage of her life would be to tell Bastila the truth about what had happened between her and Carth that night, and how it hadn't meant anything in the end. She needed Bastila to be upset with her so that she could be punished, feel bad and then move on with some peace of mind.

And then, as though the Force had heard her inner-monologue, Bastila spoke; "And after that there'll be the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' jargon—"

"I slept with Carth", Elara announced, abruptly, adding hastily to avoid any confusion, "As in, since I got back." There was a silence, as a reddening Carth stared at his plate hoping this was a nightmare. The others, meanwhile, all looked between them both, some appalled, some surprised and some just plain hurt; Atton and Orience in the latter, upset that Elara hadn't told them – if for different reasons.

The only person who had maintained her amused look was – for some reason - Bastila, who simply responded coolly: "Yes, I know."

Elara glanced at Carth, but Bastila shook her head – "No, he didn't tell me, but of course I knew. You and I do have a rather strong force bond."

"You said it wasn't working!" Elara accused, unsure as to why she was getting annoyed with Bastila when it should have been the reverse.

"No", Bastila reminded patiently, "You said it wasn't working."

Elara groaned, and tried to explain, "Look it didn't mean any—"

"I know it didn't mean anything; don't you think I would have spoken to you both if I'd been worried? Though I'm glad you did tell me", she conceded, speaking thoughtfully. "I understand it was something that you both needed to do to realise that your relationship is not the thing that it used to be. I've had a long time to think over it, and although I must confess to have been upset in the first instant, I can forgive you now. I know it was necessary."

"I'm so sorry", murmured Elara, ashamed.

Carth looked at Bastila, whispering, "Bastila, I can't begin to explain—"

Bastila smiled, interrupting him, "Touching as both of your apologies are, I think we've got a wedding to sort out?"

Carth smiled a big, goofy smile; "You mean you're—"

"Of course it's still going ahead! I love you, and I know you both needed to be together once more before you could work everything out. And now, I think it's fair to say you're all mine, with no strings attached?", she asked, smiling back at him.

"I love you too", was all he answered with, smiling even more widely if that were possible as though finally understanding just how _much_ he loved her. And that was answer enough.

Bastila took a breath. "Right, now that dramatic interlude is over…"

Elara realised she should be grateful that Bastila understood, but for some reason she wasn't. Part of her had wanted the drama, the hatred spewing at her that only a revelation like this could bring. Or even Bastila to be "disappointed" would have been awful enough for her. This though – cool acceptance? This didn't make her feel better, she just felt uneasy. She needed punishment and then forgiveness so she could really take in the wrong she'd done and feel at peace. This felt empty and pointless. However, there was hope yet – she could tell Atton was extremely pissed off. At least someone really cared, she mused.

After that Bastila asked her to help clear the table and set out dessert, and as she went back and forth to the table she observed Atton knock back a fair amount of alcohol. Dessert came and went, and she managed to have a quick catch-up with Mission, making some teasing comments about her new relationship with Dustil. From the corner of her eye she could see that Atton was talking to Atris, giving her that charming smile she knew so well. Her nails dug into her hands, but she desisted from remarking on it.

Slowly everyone started drifting off to various rooms in the apartment with their caffas and teas, and she found herself alone in the kitchen putting the dishes into the machine. She could hear laughter drifting in as she switched on the machine, thankful for the low humming sound it emitted which drowned out the sounds of mirth. She leaned against the hard top and closed her eyes, jumping when she heard a voice.

"All these years and you are the same as ever, Revan". It was Juhani.

She turned to her, plastering on a smile, "What do you mean?"

"Denying yourself what you want." Elara blinked as the Cathar continued. "I do not think you had any untoward feeling for Carth that night you and he…were 'together', shall we say. You just wanted an excuse to feel bad about yourself, because otherwise you cannot find a reason for the darkness that still remains inside of you."

"Juhani, I don't think—"

"Bastila has forgiven you and still you are unhappy, but you cannot work out why. You try and prevent future unhappiness by denying yourself what might provide immediate happiness but in the long-run might not work out. You worry you might yet make a mistake that will put your loved ones in jeopardy once more. To put it shortly: you are afraid, Revan."

Elara was pissed off; since when had Juhani become a detective/psychiatrist? She just about to ask as much when the cathar continued; "And because you are Revan, the leader – our leader – you cannot show that you are afraid, so you bottle it up and pretend everything is fine. You plaster on fake smiles for our benefit and hope we don't know any better. It was clear to Jolee and I that there is something unspoken between you and Atton, but you will not act on this because you are afraid of what you will do if things end badly, or how you will affect him. I came in here to reassure you that you are not alone."

Juhani stepped forward, placing a pale hand on Elara's shoulder – "I have been through this myself, and while others would have left me to rot you saved me. Now, I can only hope you will let me help you. The elders are gone now, and the only people who can help you back into the light are we; your friends."

Elara spoke up, "Um, thanks for your concern, Juhani. I assure you I am not falling again as you seem to have surmised though, and as soon as we get this new council going I'll be fine. The problem is that I've had nothing to do since I've been back, giving me ample time to wallow in my self-pity."

Her attempts at humour didn't seem to be convincing Juhani, however, who remarked, "It is not a crime to take some time to reflect on your personal affairs now and then, and I worry your problems have a far deeper stem. Come and meditate with Jolee and I tomorrow, and we may try to help you find your centre?"

"That…would be nice", Elara agreed. She hadn't meditated in a long time, and it was probably just what she needed. They arranged a time and place, after which Juhani returned to the dining room where a few people remained. Elara decided to make a quick trip to the 'fresher and then join them. As she made her way there she considered what Juhani had said, and decided that maybe she was right. It was time to stop holding onto the past, stop focussing on what was bad and to start appreciating everything that was good. Perhaps she would finally give into Atton, because to quote something Malak had once said to her – "What bad is going to come from love?" And if they broke-up, they broke-up; she'd killed two Tarentateks single-handedly, so she reckoned she could handle it if things went wrong between her and Atton. At least, she thought, at least she would be giving something good a shot. Resolved with her plans, she reached the 'fresher door and was puzzled when it wouldn't open. Then she smiled, remembering that this was the stiff door that you had to nudge in just the right way to open. In fact, sometimes when you thought you'd locked it from the inside you hadn't, it was just so incredibly stiff that it seemed like it was locked. She remembered that from when she had lived here with Carth, but she held no animosity to the amusing memories because, as she was beginning to realise, there was no point. She was happy they'd had that relationship, but also unconcerned that they were no longer together; when she thought about it, Carth and Bastila made way more sense. She nudged the door as she held down the entrance button, and to her embarrassment it was not – as she had presumed – unoccupied. Indeed, she was greeted by a next-to-naked Atris, who was propped up on the table next to the sink with an expression of ecstasy on her face; perhaps something to do with the fact that Atton – also naked – was thrusting into her.

"Oh", said Elara, before walking out. She thought she may have heard Atton cursing. Well, that was Plan A out the window.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I know, I know; this was very speedy of me. I hope you enjoy it. I need to get revising now so maybe expect more in a few weeks. Umm also, there's some strong language in this one so watch out. Please do let me know what you think. Thanks as ever for reading!**

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"Elara… Elara! Listen, I know you're not asleep", Atton spoke persistently to her from the doorway as she lay turned away from him on the bed. He hesitated and then sat on the other side of the bed, sighing. "Can we please just talk?"

She turned to face him, and although he hadn't been sure what to expect, seeing her looking completely composed had thrown him slightly – he'd been preparing himself for tears, and she looked as though nothing had happened. "What do you want?" She asked calmly, as though she were genuinely puzzled.

"I want…to apologise for what you saw earlier", he began uncertainly.

She scoffed in reply. "Why are you apologising? It has nothing to do with me. Fuck who you want to fuck; it's none of my business." He flinched at her blunt words. "Isn't that what you've been doing for the past month anyway, or have I misinterpreted the moans and scantily clad girls that seem to appear from roughly your vicinity?"

He looked surprised, but perhaps slightly smug; she had noticed those girls, and was maybe even jealous although it was hard to tell from her tone. He had been about to make a comment to this effect when he remembered something. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about them – but then, you didn't tell me about Carth, did you?"

She blinked, and bit her bottom lip thoughtfully. "No, like I said – your sex life is none of my business, so I guess mine's none of yours. I could have told you, but why should you be concerned, right?"

He sighed at her logic. "Right", he agreed, quietly. "So you won't be interested in knowing that Atris and I are now an item."

Underneath the blanket her grip on the sheets became very, very tight, but all she said was, "If it makes you happy." She took a breath. "Congratulations."

"Yup. I'm really happy. She's beautiful, smart, funny – the first woman I've really been attracted to in a long time. I mean, sure there have been a couple girls I _thought_ I was interested in, but I realised they weren't my type." He was leaning in ever-so-slightly, trying to provoke a reaction from her.

In her mind she was rolling her eyes at how childish he was, but couldn't deny his words weren't cutting her. "Okay", she replied, maintaining her calm, slightly confused tone, "Good for you."

His brow furrowed, "What?"

She narrowed her eyes a little bit as she replied with his own question; "What?" It sounded like a challenge.

"So", he spoke slowly, "You're okay with this?"

"Atton, why wouldn't I be? It's not like we were in a relationship or something so you don't have anything to worry about. I mean, as you've made so…abundantly clear, you weren't interested in me – how could you be, when your type is beautiful, smart, funny? Qualities I quite clearly lack."

"I never said –", he began, but to no avail.

"And you know I wasn't interested in you", she spoke over him, demanding attention despite her quiet, collected tone. "We shared a drunken kiss or two, both of which were my fault and I'm more than sorry about them. It's nice to see you actually settle down." She refrained to mention that she had been hoping he would be settling down with _her_. She pursed her lips. "Now, if you don't mind I'd quite like to get to sleep."

"Of course", he said softly, annoyed that she came off like the victim; hadn't he been the one who had comforted her that night when she came home? Oh yes, he remembered perfectly well when the incident must have been, her crying to him, "What I did tonight I did with no excuses". Well that was excuse enough for any course of action he had taken. If she'd told him before then maybe it would have been different; they could have set it aside and worked forward. But instead he had to find out with everyone else at some dinner party? She had been coyly flirtatious all night and then suddenly, 'Oh, by the way; I slept with Carth.' And now _he_ was the bad guy? He got up from the bed, frustrated and said shortly, "Well, good night."

She had turned away, and was refusing to let her eyes water. She would not let her emotions get the better of her; she knew Juhani had told her not to keep bottling things up, but how could she possibly show Atton how she felt now and get her heart all trampled over? Not worth it, she decided. "Night", she mumbled.

He looked at her curiously before he walked out. He ought to be more pissed off with her than he was, not that he'd let her know he was anything but disgusted with her right now. He sat on a chair and almost laughed to himself about the mess he'd gotten himself into. He sighed, and decided Atris wasn't that bad. She had a nice body at any rate, and he wouldn't mind spending the week leading up to the wedding with her. And when Elara finally got sick of seeing him with Atris, then she'd finally be jealous enough to make a move. It was unromantic perhaps, but he'd tried flirting and telling her how he felt and it didn't work; Elara needed to work it out for herself. At least, that was the plan.

***

Elara and Orience rushed out of the apartment, Orience whispering in disgust as soon as they got out, and the door was shut, "Atris?! I mean, really?"

It was the weekend before the wedding – which was on Wednesday – and it had occurred to all the women aside from Bastila that they hadn't actually bought dresses yet. So now they were all going to the tailor where Bastila had got her dress made to get their own dresses done. Orience had come to pick up Elara, only to find Atris and Atton lying on the couch cuddling, whispering and giggling. Needless to say, this was enough to fuel an anti-Atris tirade for the entire shuttle journey to the store. Meditation with Jolee and Juhani had helped an immense amount, but nothing helped mend a broken heart like endless gossiping. When they got to the store and were shown to the dressing rooms, where the others were, Orience said – not as quietly as intended – "You need to get over him."

She raised her eyebrows in genuine surprise - she had not hinted to Orience at all that she had a thing for Atton, only complained that having to hear Atris giggling _all the time_ was getting pretty irritating. Before she could say anything else however, another voice interrupted from one of the changing rooms, "You're talking about her and that pilot guy, right? I do _not_ know what you see in him."

"Mission, how did _you_ know?!" This was getting ridiculous now.

"Oh come on", giggled the Twi'lek. "It's obvious".

Elara glanced at Orience, who shrugged with a sheepish grin. "Hey; I know I'm stupid but I'm not… Um. Blind? The point is even I could tell."

Elara groaned, but thankfully before the conversation could continue she and Orience were ushered to separate dressing rooms where a droid began taking her measurements. Unfortunately, this was not the end of the conversation, as Juhani's voice popped up.

"I was surprised to see him with Atris as I thought it was clear he liked you – is this common of his behaviour?"

"Completely common", said Orience. "I think he's just trying to make her jealous."

Elara closed her eyes, wishing the voices would stop.

Mission continued, "But has she done anything to lead him on? Like, other than what they were doing under the table the other night." There was a resounding giggle from everyone except Elara.

"Mission!" This was appalling. And furthermore they were talking about her like she wasn't even there.

"I would estimate they've shared a drunken kiss, but nothing more", Bastila's voice chimed in.

This was beyond embarrassing now. "Bastila", Elara spoke firmly, "Could you please stop using our force bond to – ow!" The droid beeped an apology, having shocked her by mistake. "Run along, Bastila – no-one wants anymore input from you and the force bond."

"Wrong", said everyone in the vicinity; great, she thought, now people she didn't even know were learning about her personal life. Great.

"Besides, Elara; it is my wedding. I should see what you're wearing to make sure you don't look atrocious like you were threatening to at the rehearsal dinner."

"Oh for—"

"Elara, are Atton's actions working in making you jealous?" asked Juhani, curiously. "It seems very primitive."

"Atton is primitive", scoffed Orience.

"I'm sorry not all guys are like Mical", muttered Elara.

"Hey, at least Mical washes!" The Exile retorted.

"Atton washes!", Elara said, defensively. There was a ripple of laughter. "No, seriously; I live with him – he definitely washes. Like this morning him and Atris had a disgustingly long shower…" She frowned at the memory wishing she hadn't brought it up as the droid began flicking through various materials. She pointed at one absently.

"'Disgustingly long', you say. So from this I take it he _is_ making you jealous?"

"Yes, yes, yes. Okay? But I don't think… I mean, at first I thought that was his sole intention but, from the way he's been acting… I think he actually likes her." She had not voiced this thought before, and it was oddly relieving yet heartbreaking to say it.

"Don't be such a defeatist, honey", advised an unfamiliar voice.

Elara scowled and ignored this random shopper's words. Why was everyone so interested anyway?

"You want my advice?" Asked Orience. "I think—"

"He is _not_ worth this", pointed out Mission, joined by a resounding "mmm-hmmm" sound from many of the other changing rooms.

"Well no", agreed Orience. "But nonetheless, Elara really likes him so she should give him a chance to explain himself. I think you need to play him at his own game."

"What exactly are you suggesting?" Elara asked, wearily as she pointed at the first style of dress the droid showed her.

"She's saying you shouldn't be so available" stated Bastila.

"Well what does that—"

"It is simple", said Juhani. "You must get a boyfriend. He needn't be real, just someone to get Atton out of his comfort zone."

"This seems awfully—"

"I know the perfect guy! He owes me a favour and he'd be up for pretending to be your boyfriend." She could practically hear Mission's grin as she spoke.

"Oh force, I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Atris! So glad you could make it", Bastila said loudly, and although it seemed like a perfectly friendly greeting everyone could tell it was a pointed comment for their benefit so they would shut up.

"Sorry about how late I am; Atton is a _very_ demanding boyfriend", Atris giggled. Elara thought she might be sick.

Luckily the droid beeped that it was done, and she was given a receipt to go pick up the dress the next day. She was greeted by the others outside, all of whom were also finished.

"Oh, is everyone leaving already?" Pouted Atris. "I thought we might have some girl talk."

"Ahh, I'm all girl-talked out", Elara grinned, amused to see one of the other shoppers who had evidently been a part of the earlier conversation wink at her. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to get ready for my date tonight."

They said goodbye to Atris and Bastila, and as they walked out of the shop Elara said to them all, pointedly, "This had better work."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I know; I'm awful. I thought it'd be easier to update once exams were over but of course then I got even busier with other stuff, then I went on holiday and finally I wrote up the next chapter and a half (oh yes; you can actually expect more soon) only to find my internet wasn't working. So finally, here is the next chapter. If you're a reader of my other multi-chapter fic, 'Sing To Me', an update for that will be arriving in the next few days. Thanks for reading, I'm truly sorry for the delay. Enjoy...**

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Elara had known this would turn out to be a horrible mistake. Sat in Bastila's living room surrounded by the only other known Jedi left in the Universe - plus several wannabe Jedi - she suddenly felt very wary of everything; regardless of what Bastila said, they were all far too young to even be considering forming a council. She hated to be a defeatist, but maybe it was time to cast the Jedi teachings aside and start afresh. She shook her head and realised that this line of thought would end up nowhere good, and wasn't how she really felt at all. Gloomily she returned to focus on the actual source of all her negativity; Atton Rand.

At first it had felt like the plan was working as Atton had been discernibly taken aback by the revelation that Elara was going out with the ridiculously handsome Jarik (thank you, Mission) after bumping into him on the way out of the apartment. Of course he'd tried to act nonchalant about the whole thing, but generally when he was trying _that_ hard to look like he didn't care it meant he most definitely cared. A lot.

Quickly, however, Elara had become uncertain as to how effective the whole thing was; Atton's nonchalance yesterday had been replaced today with a sort of shrugging acceptance today. He'd said he was pleased for her, and if he seemed slightly tight-lipped and awkward as he spoke it had certainly escaped her notice. No, Atton genuinely seemed not to care about the addition of Jarik to her life. This was the opposite of the desired outcome; instead of realising his feelings for her enough to reveal them he seemed to have cast whatever feelings he had experienced aside without much thought and focussed once more – sincerely - on Atris.

There was still hope though. Atton had been fairly insistent on meeting Jarik – "You're my friend, Elara; I care about you. I just want to make sure he's right for you" – and thus after this shambles of a meeting they would be going on what would doubtless be a memorable double date. Maybe Elara could provoke a jealous reaction from Atton yet. She began mentally planning an outfit to make the pilot's jaw drop when she was rudely interrupted.

"Revan! Could you at least _pretend_ to listen?!" Bastila's creased forehead didn't seem to indicate a calm state of being.

"Sorry!" She stuck out her bottom lip slightly hoping for some sympathy, instead receiving a glare from her short-tempered best friend. "It gets a little confusing when you go between calling me Elara and Revan; I forget which I'm meant to respond to."

Bastila rolled her eyes whilst the buzz of various low chuckles filled the rest of the room. "Liar." Elara opened her mouth in protest, but Bastila ignored her and continued. "Anyway, now you're actually responding you can get more involved in the conversation considering you're meant to be an Elder of the council."

Elara sighed, because she did want to do her best with this. She loved the idea of scouting out new Force sensitives and training them up so there would be a solid defence for the still weak Republic. She wanted to make a difference, and create as many Jedi as she had once killed, and she understood that it would require patience and perseverance. The problem was – selfish and shallow though it was - her heart couldn't fully be in this until she'd sorted out all her issues, and until Atton stopped being a complete idiot.

"Well, I don't agree with you about rebuilding the enclave on Dantooine, Bastila. The force is strong there, yes, but I feel like we should move on. This council isn't the same as the one we grew up knowing, and the galaxy we find ourselves in isn't the same as that of the old council. Circumstances have changed, as have political agendas and public opinion. Why not be closer to the Senate?" There was a murmur of surprise in the room, and she realised that everyone was now looking her curiously.

"So, you're suggesting –" Bastila began to clarify, uncertainly.

"Coruscant", Jolee confirmed, smiling at Elara. "I think it's a good idea. The girl may be crazy sometimes but she makes a lot of sense."

Glaring but smiling back at him, Elara continued. "Not only would we be at the heart of the Senate, we'd be at the centre – no, capital - of the Republic, central to so many other crucial places where we could seek out force sensitives. We could use the old Jedi temple as a starting point and extend that." There was a pensive silence, leaving Elara unsure of how to continue. Eventually she settled for a, "Well?"

And to her surprise, everyone agreed. The meeting was called to a close, and everyone began to file out relieved that at least one decision had been made, some still buzzing from their first ever meeting as part of the Jedi. Elara grinned to herself, happy that her influence had panned out, and after having exchanged some quick goodbyes she walked out of the room with a spring in her step.

Atton considered going after her as he watched her leave, and had to hold back a groan as Atris sought him out and clasped his arm, babbling on about something or other he really didn't care about. Not long now, he thought to himself, hopefully. Only, Atris had been all over him these past few days and Elara didn't seem to care, seemingly too preoccupied with this Jarik guy. Jarik. What kind of name was that anyway? He'd only seen the guy once and hadn't been properly introduced yet but he was already sure he was an idiot who Elara could do without. He was irksomely good-looking and, therefore, couldn't be too bright or funny or generally awesome. Obviously only Atton could deliver that full package.

He and Atris left, and after dropping her off at her temporary apartment he decided going back to his own place while Elara was there probably not the best idea. He whiled away an hour playing Pazaak at the nearest cantina, then made his way back to Atris' to pick her up ready for the big date. Clasping her disgustingly clammy hand and enduring her irritatingly shrill giggle (which poured out of her mouth far more often than was necessary) he led her to the restaurant where they were scheduled to meet Elara and Jarik.

Stood there already, and talking to one another animatedly were the aforementioned couple, both looking – much to Atton's annoyance towards one of them, and appreciation to the other - startlingly attractive.

"Hey! Sorry, I didn't notice you were already here", Elara smiled at the new arrivals, her face practically glowing she looked so good. Atton could have melted into that beautiful, pure skin of hers and longed to entangle his hands in her silky hair.

"Hi, Elara. Aren't you going to introduce us?" He spoke with a steely smile that didn't quite meet his eyes.

"Oh right - of course, sorry. Um, Atris, Atton; this is Jarik, my boyfriend." Atton resisted the urge to hit something at her use of the word 'boyfriend'. "Jarik this is Atris and this is Atton."

Jarik put out his hand, smiling warmly with his dazzling blue eyes saying in velvety smooth tones, "Hi there."

Atton shook his hand, giving a somewhat colder expression in return and – judging by the sudden colour change in Jarik's hand – gave him an unnecessarily strong handshake. "Pleased to meet you" Atton said, clearly not pleased at all.

Jarik didn't react in the way Atton had hoped, however, and just smiled again and placed his free arm round Elara's waist attentively. "Shall we?" He asked, gesturing towards to restaurant.

"We shall", giggled Elara as she followed him in, her giggle far more alluring and lovely than that of Atris. Atton mentally groaned, cursing himself for needlessly complicating everything as he and Atris proceeded to enter the restaurant.

Elara cast a surreptitious glance backwards and then smiled knowingly to Jarik as the waiter droid tried to find them a table for four. Much to her delight Atton was discernibly pissed off, and so he should be; tonight he was going to get a taste of his own medicine.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: If you were new to reading this you'd perhaps be amused by the fact that every author note I write is pretty much an apology for my lack of updates. This author note is no different to the norm, and I am sincerely really, really sorry. I won't lie - the odds of me updating this again really quickly seem unlikely, but hopefully soon. The gap between this chapter and the last one has been ridiculous, and I do intend for the next one to be posted a lot sooner than this one was. Please do let me know what you think, I hope it's not too awful. Thanks so much if you're reading this!**

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Elara excused herself to go to the 'fresher, and could hardly wait to get away from the table. This was beyond awful. Oh, sure, there was a good chance that Atton was getting jealous, but if he was he was doing a pretty good job of hiding it somewhere between loudly slurping his soup and his incessant groping of Atris. Jarik would retaliate on Elara's behalf as she was slightly too dazed, nuzzling her neck affectionately and whispering in her ear. But it was then that it really hit her – her life was so bleak that she was getting a complete stranger, who was gay, to pretend to be her boyfriend in order to make someone who wasn't even that interested anymore a little bit jealous. This assertion was what had taken her into the 'fresher so that she could splash her face with cold water and take a good look at herself in the mirror.

Why was she torturing Atton in the first place? The fact that he was having sex with Atris wasn't allowed to bother her, as she herself had rebuked Atton several times, claiming she didn't want relationships like that anymore, claiming that she wanted to be single, permanently, like jedi were supposed to be. And he'd let go, he'd understood why she couldn't let herself get romantically attached again, and then she'd slept with Carth, completely betraying Atton's trust and understanding. And now she was acting like he had something to be sorry for? Atton didn't deserve that. In fact, she didn't deserve Atton. He was being an idiot about Atris, yes, but that was only because Elara herself was playing pointless games with him.

And now, as she looked at herself in the mirror, she couldn't help but ask herself that classic cliché of a question – "who am I?". It was something that she'd been struggling with a lot over the past few years – who was she, and who did she want to be? As far as she could see, she could either be Elara or Revan. Not evil Sith lord Revan, obviously; those days were over, definitely. But Revan was the great Jedi she had been; Elara was an ordinary scout who was dragged into the whole Revan thing. It was really confusing, but the fact was they weren't really the same person – if she was to be Revan, she would commit to the cause of the Jedi and focus the rest of her days on rebuilding the order, without any really deep attachments to her peers. Well, other than her bond with Bastila, but that was a will-of-the-force thing, so she figured the attachment was alright. If she was Elara, however, she could be human, and allow herself to give-in, and truly fall in love and not worry about the consequences. Juhani seemed to think she should do this, because while the Jedi tradition was obviously important, so was maintaining actual happiness. Jolee had attempted to tell her that things weren't as black and white as this, and that she could choose to be both, but personally she didn't see it.

Past experiences had shown her that falling in love and having your heart ripped to shreds didn't exactly lend themselves to staying in the light. And looking to the future, how could she focus on rebuilding an ancient order if she was constantly worrying about a family she cared about? And when had she suddenly started thinking of herself with a family?! This was too weird. The unfair games she was playing with Atton had to stop so she could get a grip and sort herself out. Bastila's wedding was in three days, and she wanted to be somewhat mentally stable for the occasion.

She might not be happy about leaving Atton to carry on falling for Atris, but it would mean he was happy. And while she wasn't sure what she herself wanted, it only seemed fair to at least let Atton be happy.

Resolved, she stared at the figure in the mirror for a couple more seconds. She still wasn't sure who was looking back at her.

****

"Hey Atton, can I talk to you in private for a sec'?"

He glanced up from the table in surprise, then looked over to Atris who nodded, willing to let go of him for a bit. He got up and followed Oriece outside of the restaurant.

"What's going on?" he asked, trying to sound more casual than he actually felt.

"How'd you like your first jedi meeting?" She asked, looking up at him.

"It was –" He attempted to reply, slightly confused.

"Good to hear", Orience cut in. "Anyway, listen – I need to ask you something, quickly."

He groaned, anticipating where the conversation would probably be heading. "I am _not_ giving you and Mical sex tips! Our last talk was as far as I can go on the matter without projectile vomiting."

She frowned. "What? Of course that's not what I want to talk about. Although, there _is_ this weird thing Mical does when he's taking off his underwe—"

"I am _not_ kidding about the vomit here."

"Fine", she grinned, "If you're sure you don't want to hear all the details about his p—"

"NO! No, no, no." He looked positively horrified.

Orience rolled her eyes, "Honestly, I was going to say his pants. I can't help it if your mind's in the gutter."

Atton closed his eyes and took a breath. "What was it you wanted to ask?"

"You're in love with Elara, right?"

He suddenly became inexplicably jumpy and awkward, not quite meeting her eyes as he yelped, "What the heck are you talking about?! Of course I'm not _in love_ with Elara. I'm with Atris, remember? Stop fooling around already, Orience; what did you really want to ask?"

Orience gave him an amused look. "Atton, I'm probably the person who knows you best, and I can generally tell when you're lying. Now it was easy enough tell you had a thing for her; even Mical noticed that."

Atton muttered something under his breath that didn't sound too happy, but Orience continued regardless. "But then you started this whole Atris nonsense which confused things, because normally when you're into a girl you just go for it and don't take no for an answer. And making a girl jealous by going out with another girl isn't something you wouldn't normally bother doing; you're never _that_ interested in a girl. So clearly it's more than just being into her…"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," he said, firmly and stubbornly.

"Fine then, I have one teeny question left – when I kiss Mical's neck, he makes this weird, orgasmic noise—"

"Alright, alright! I'm in love with her, okay? No need to make a big deal out of it." He blinked, suddenly very aware of himself and spoke his next words more softly in a moment of self-realisation – "I love her."

Orience grinned, "So why are you telling me?"

Atton ruffled his hair, absently conveying his frustration. "Well who am I meant to tell? She says she can't do relationships cos she wants to be a good jedi, and fine; I can deal with that. Then she screws her ex, which I could've dealt with in different circumstances, but not when she lied to me, and when it goes against her claims about not needing a guy. And now out of the blue she's been seeing this Jarik guy? I mean, what am I meant to do? Go running to her and confess my undying love? Tell her it's killing me to see her with, with that _sleazebag_? That he's not good enough for her, that no-one could possibly love her like I do? Sure, while I'm at it, why don't I just go tell her I've never felt this way before? Between you and me, babe, I think the plot so far suggests that she's not gonna be reciprocating the feeling." He closed his eyes, fists tightly clenched in his mane of hair. Then, after a moment of silence like that, he let go, letting out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. "It doesn't matter that I love her; I want her to be happy. And if she's happy without me, then that's…well, it's not great. But it's okay."

Orience wanted to kick something, and nearly did so. This wasn't what was meant to happen – yes, he was meant to realise he loved Elara, but he was meant to go and act on it. She would say "I love you too", and they'd live happily ever after. That was how things went in the holos! Atton wasn't meant to just _give-up_. But she couldn't tell him that; couldn't reveal the intricate but immature games that were being played here. And it wasn't up to her to let Atton know that his feelings weren't unrequited, and that; although Elara hadn't said as much, she was almost definitely completely and irrevocably in love with him. Orience had seen similar expressions on her friend's face before, when Malak and her were inseparable. At the time, of course, Orience hadn't realised the pair were in love, but now it all made sense. Thinking of Malak incensed the Exile slightly; how unfair was it that Revan, who had sacrificed so much, ultimately had so little? Sure, the woman had caused awful amounts of destruction, but she'd done more than enough to make-up for it. Killing the man she had loved in order to help the Republic?! Revan definitely deserved happiness, and Orience was going to make sure she got it.

"At least go and talk to her –", she said, suddenly pointing through the glass door, "She's just come out of the 'fresher, and she's on her own. Just go there and talk."

Atton followed her gaze and made his decision as soon as he saw the beautiful woman who had won his affections more and more with each passing second since he'd first met her. "Thanks, Orience", he nodded, acknowledging the Exile before stepping back into the restaurant, making a bee-line for Elara.

He pushed her gently but determinedly back into the small, closed-off corridor where the 'freshers were. A quick glance over at his table reassured him that Atris and Jarik were deep in conversation about something or other. He was thoughtful for a moment, realising that by even letting Atris and Jarik get involved, too many people stood to be hurt. Why had they allowed things to become so complicated?

Before he could contemplate things any further her big, brown eyes found his, searching his face for some sort of answer, as she whispered, "Atton, what are you--?"

"Sweets – hate to break it to you, but Jarik's an idiot", he began, suddenly very aware that this wasn't how he'd meant to start this conversation.

A spark of amusement flashed across Elara's face, and she felt a rush of warmth at his use of the nickname that brought her back to the first night she'd met him, but she hid it all with apparent indignation, "That's not fair! You just haven't got to know him yet."

Atton's eyes paused momentarily on her slightly parted lips before returning to her eyes, and found that his heart was beginning to squirm in anticipation. "I have no intention of getting to know him", he replied, coolly, taking a step towards her and softly forcing her back against the wall.

"We can't—", she began, her face filling with confusion and uncertainty – something that filled Atton with some sort of hope.

"Elara, please", he spoke, lightly tracing a thumb over her rose-coloured lips, unsure how to feel about the fact that she softly gasped, shivering slightly. "I won't say a word if you can honestly tell me you don't feel the same way." His eyes were looking at her pleadingly, and he was subconsciously biting down on his bottom lip.

Elara's face scrunched up, because if he was about to tell her he loved her then that was it. No more delusions about her not wanting a relationship; if he said the words then she'd know for certain that she wanted nothing more than to be his forever. "I'll only know if I feel the same way if you tell me how exactly you feel", she whispered, shakily, but with a twinkle of amusement – and was that hope? – in her eyes, "How do you feel about me?"

"I…", he started, uncertainly. Even in his bleaker fantasies the pilot hadn't pictured himself confessing his love for her in the dingy corridor outside the 'freshers in some random restaurant. "I want you". He couldn't do it; not here, not now. "I've wanted you for as long as I can remember."

Elara nodded. She had suspected as much – that the pilot's feelings were pretty much driven by lust. Orience had told her that Atton had never really been in love, and Elara realised it had been conceited of her to think that she herself could be Atton's true love. Just, a small part of her had kind of hoped – but no, she stopped herself. If Atton wanted her then she could honestly say she didn't feel the same way about him; she wanted him, yes – Force, she wanted him, badly. But it was more than her base lusts that drove that, and she wanted all of him, wanted to love every part of his being. But now she knew he didn't feel the same. And now, she supposed, she could move on, and become what the council had always hoped Revan would be. But something was still holding her back, and she knew she still needed to meditate on everything, at the very least.

"Elara? Say something?" Atton's voice suddenly seemed hoarse. In his mind he was beginning to come-up with ways of passing this all off as one big joke, but he was fully aware he'd fail miserably.

"I don't feel the same way." Part of her wanted to be sick, part of her wanted to cry. A large part of her wanted Atton to just say he loved her. An even larger part of her wanted to kiss him - was willing to pretend to Atton that she only wanted the lust part of the relationship too if it meant she could finally be with him. But she knew that at least he'd get some sort of relief in this department from Atris, because that was all he really wanted. He'd probably be happier this way. So instead she just gave him a sad, half-smile and walked away.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Oh my gosh. I can't believe how long this has taken me. To be honest, I wasn't sure I'd ever get to continue this but I finally recovered my lost documents from my old, dead computer so I can get going on finishing this bad boy! I am SO SO SO SORRY, I realise nothing for over a year is the most ridiculous thing ever and if you're reading this you're a lovely, amazing person. I'm going to get this entire story finished as soon as is possible and then go through old chapters to re-write/clean-up a little bit so that - for the first time ever - I will have a completed multi-chapter fic! Yay! If you want to let me know whether it was worth the wait, or even just yell at me, some reviews would be very nice to keep me going. This is kind of a filler chapter which leads us into the next chapter where exciting stuff happens. No, really! The end is almost nigh for this story, so thanks for sticking with me. Sincerely sorry to have kept you waiting for so long, I hope you enjoy:**

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"You realise, of course, that you're just going around in circles?" Bastila scolded her softly as she helped her upset friend pack a small overnight bag.

"Less talking, more packing", Elara retorted apparently jovially, although her blank expression and monotone disputed this.

The pair had meditated for an hour, which – considering the proximity to her wedding – was very considerate of Bastila. Now with her thoughts slightly clearer, Elara knew there was only one thing holding her back from committing herself to being Revan, the lauded Jedi; one last form of atonement that she hadn't quite been able to face during the past six years.

Once she'd faced up to this last thing, she'd be ready. It would be a short trip; she'd fly out tonight and be back the next evening – the night before the wedding - in time to help out, in an attempt to be a half-decent maid of honour. Then she'd pack-up all her stuff and move-out from Atton's, maybe head over to Coruscant and scope out the area for future Jedi convenience. And if there was a pang of sadness at the life she'd be forfeiting, the bubbles of excitement at fully reforming the Jedi, and getting back to what she had been born to do were certainly enough to make up for it.

She surveyed the room once again and then gave her friend a quick hug, "I'll see you tomorrow. Try not to implode from stress before the wedding."

"Where's the fun in that?" Bastila chuckled lightly, although it was in a serious tone that she continued, "Good luck; I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Yeah, or I'll be gutted alive. One or the other", Elara replied, through a gritted smile.

They both walked out of the apartment door, only to bump into Atton, who was on his way in. Bastila nodded her goodbye, and left the complex with a secretive smile on her face and her fingers crossed. Atton meanwhile had a strangely resolved expression on his face, which broke for a moment into confusion when he noted Elara's bag, slung over her shoulder.

"About earlier", he began, hesitantly, but hopeful he could sort out everything once and for all.

"I'm off-planet for the night", she explained, speaking over him and not making eye contact. "Back for the wedding, then I'm saying bye to Telos and Citadel for a bit. I guess you'll be wanting to leave around then anyway, so just let me know how much my half of the rent is when I'm back tomorrow."

The pilot frowned, taking a moment to digest this information. "You don't have to pay me anything."

She rolled her eyes; "Look, I know you want to try and be all chivalrous after earlier—", she paused for a moment, willing herself not to have an emotional outburst about earlier, "But really, it's not necessary. You've been sleeping on the couch while I've been hogging the bed for a stupidly long time now; I owe you! And I don't want you to think I'm just heading off planet so I can avoid paying rent or something."

"That was never in question. But I never asked you to pay rent; you were here as my guest." Elara looked as though she was about to interrupt, so he burst out with what he'd been planning to tell her in the first place, "Me and Atris are over."

Elara nodded, lips squirming round in a thoughtful manner. "Oh", she responded, unsure what else she was meant to say. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged, "It was gonna happen sooner than later. I'm not normally the kind of guy who goes for long-term commitment – even, well", he grinned slightly abashedly, a hand touching the back of his neck self-consciously, "Even when it's only been a week. And I realised I couldn't keep it going with her when it was for all the wrong reasons." He tried to give Elara a meaningful look.

There was silence, apart from the subtle sounds of the pair breathing. Elara couldn't tell him what she wanted to say because she had already decided she was over Atton, and thus wasn't allowed to care about what he was apparently trying to convey to her now. She reminded herself she didn't just want to be Atton's object of lust, and he'd made it clear that was all he wanted. Instead she said, "Right, well, sorry - I don't want to be late so I really have to go." She made to move forwards, only to find the stubborn pilot blocking her way.

"Yeah, about that; where the heck are you going?"

"Just... working on some unfinished business", she said, pushing against his warm, toned, resilient chest (and then reproaching herself for both noticing and revelling in the fact that his chest was warm and toned). She finally allowed herself to make eye-contact with him, scowling, "Which would be a lot easier, if you'd get out of the way."

"Which I'll gladly do when you stop being so damned cryptic, sweets. Now what's going on?"

The woman closed her eyes and took a breath, "Nothing that concerns you, alright? I'll be back tomorrow."

And with that she walked off, not really considering the possibility that Atton would be resolute in finding out what was happening. It didn't even cross her mind that, as a former assassin, Atton had incredible abilities in the field of stealth; skills that he'd be more than willing to use in order to discover what was going on. So even when she was almost certain she heard something behind her as she entered the Ebon Hawk, she had no reason to suspect that Atton had in fact boarded the ship just after her. It was only when the ship had taken off, and it was really too late to do anything about it that HK47 informed her in a passing comment that he had detected the presence of another meatbag on board.

"HK, do you think you could have told me about this slightly earlier?"

"Judgement: I assumed that you were aware of his presence, master", the droid reported, with what Elara was certain was a hint of smugness, as it did appear to belittle her sensory abilities.

Before she had the chance to become angry with the droid she suddenly began to panic and rushed around the cockpit, arming herself with various makeshift pieces of equipment that would serve her well as weaponry, before reminding herself that she was a skilled jedi, and was more than capable of coping with hostile situations and – if all else failed - she had a lightsaber on her belt and an assassin droid at her bidding.

Edging her way out of the cockpit she used the force to feel out around her, and felt a presence coming from the storage locker. Cautiously and quietly she shuffled into the room and leapt on her unsuspecting victim, brandishing her lightsaber and revelling in the "swisssh" and "vhom" noises it made – it had been _way_ too long. She yelled a loud "A-ha!" to add to her awesome jedi persona.

"What the hell are you doing?", a disturbed looking Atton was staring up at her.

"Oh." She took a relieved – if disappointed – breath, and smiled with sheepish embarrassment. "I thought you were a hostile or something."

He started grinning and stood up, repeating her "_A-ha!_" in a mocking tone, "Is that what that was?"

Instead of laughing she glared back at the pilot; "Excuse me for being concerned with someone sneaking onto my ship! If it's not too much to ask, why the heck are you here?"

He shrugged. He'd been sat there trying to figure out what his reasoning would be when the moment of discovery came, but the truth was that he didn't really know why he had decided to follow her onboard. He had wanted to know what was going on; wanted to help her if she needed it and be there for her. Something told him none of those responses would sit too well with the pissed off jedi stood before him. And damn if she didn't look sexy as hell all riled up with the lightsaber glowing in her hand, reminding him just how powerful she was.

He eventually decided on, "Figured we're both parting ways soon, so I thought it'd be nice to spend some time together", donning a seraphic smile as he said it.

She gave him a flabbergasted look, as she put her hands on her hips – "Look, Atton; if this is about the whole you 'wanting' me thing, then – y'know, I'm flattered." She slumped slightly, and found herself looking at the cold grey floor as she stated, flatly, "But I'm not interested."

Atton wanted to argue and tell her how stupid this all was; tell her how he really felt, but he was aware that saying anything which could potentially anger her even more probably wasn't the best plan when she, as owner of the ship, could easily abandon him on some backwater planet. "Just forget about that for now; that's not what this is", he spoke, once again sitting down on the cold floor, motioning for her to sit next to him.

She obliged, if grudgingly, silently wondering why she hadn't insisted on moving the conversation to the cockpit with it's nice cushy chairs.

Atton ran his hands through his hair, and focussed his gaze on a scratch on the wall directly in front of him as he began, "I'm just worried about you – you seem like you're in a dark place. And heck, I know I'm flattering myself when I say it felt like when we first met you seemed to pick up a little." He heard her sniff in a way that seemed indicative of amusement, as he continued, surprised with himself for being so honest, "But I know since then things haven't been exactly great for you—", he hurried this next bit, aware from his peripheral vision that Elara was about to speak, "And the reasons for that aside, I get that things can't have been easy. Then you decide to head off over-night? I just…I don't want you to hurt yourself or something."

He felt uneasy voicing these thoughts, and carried on quickly before she could interrupt, still staring resolutely at the wall. "And obviously people sometimes need some time alone." Elara scoffed pointedly, and he smiled slightly as he spoke, lowering his voice and finally turning to meet her eyes, "If I genuinely thought time alone was what you needed then… I wouldn't have come. Well, probably anyway. And clearly you're not aiming for alone-time anyway, seeing as you've set the ship in the direction of what appears to be a pretty heavily populated planet – so what is it?"

Elara sighed, tilting her head back so she was staring at the ceiling as she considered what to say. He might as well know the truth – he'd find out in a few hours when they landed anyway.

"Well, Atton", she spoke in a detached, airy voice, very much aware that even the thought of her next words was making her feel anything but detached and airy, "We're currently en route to the home of my family."

Atton's eyes widened as he imagined meeting Elara's parents in _these_ circumstances, and he tried to think of something eloquent to say. Even after a pause all he could manage was a whispered, "Shit."

Elara couldn't help but laugh darkly. "My thoughts exactly, Rand. My thoughts exactly."


End file.
